Silent Watchers by Dot IkwerreGirl Acheru

Author:Dot IkwerreGirl Acheru
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Dorothy Acheru
Published: 2022-10-05T17:38:15+00:00

CHAPTER 7

CLOSET NARCISSIST

I never really understood what a or who a narcissist was until I left the marriage, then suddenly everywhere I turned, this word was thrown at me, and I could not figure out why I never came across it. The fact is a narcissist will tell you things that are true in an implicit way, they may even tell you they are a narcissist but you would not believe it because you are not quite at that place to understand it.

In my case, it was one random afternoon, he was on his computer and I sat holding our son when he asked, “Do you know what a narcissist is?”

“Nope” I responded airily with no firsthand knowledge of what that was. He said, “Come on, you are really smart, I’m sure you’ve heard of it or just take a guess...” then I replied,

“I’m completely clueless but based on what I’ve watched and heard it mentioned on Criminal minds (The TV series), I think they are serial killers. They believe they are never wrong, and justify why they have to kill people. They also like to be acknowledged, which is why sometimes the investigators apprehend them by acknowledging their sadistic skills, or giving credit for their crimes to someone else to make them jealous, and then they will turn up to admit to it.”

He smiled slowly,

“You were pretty close. They are not always killers but the rest of your definition is close.” I got inquisitive,

“Why are you asking about narcissists?” to this he responded in a spine chilling tone

“I just did an online questionnaire and it says I am a narcissist.”

Unsure of what was really transpiring, I laughed saying,

“Really, well that’s not good I suppose?”

The direction of the conversation changed drastically when he snapped, “This is the problem with the world, a narcissist is a person who’s awake, and doesn’t conform to the norm. Why would anything be wrong with someone who is always right? Why should I be branded because I am right and intelligent etc? This is just absolute trash.”

Right there and then he told me he was a narcissist but I was unmindful of the weight of his words. I was thinking serial killer but maybe just maybe if only I had researched the topic a little further. Just like domestic violence; most people think towards physical violence and monsters but not the subtly abusive ones, the emotional, the financial, and the psychological ones.

He had this thing going which I never understood, this need to be worshipped by his family, by friends, church members, and acquaintances; this need to be seen as someone to be revered. I was taught that you had to earn respect; it was not to be forced out of people. But here I was with a person that every time his ego was bruised a little by anyone he started a storm. He would spend so much money just to win adoration from people and when it did not happen, he would go into rage.

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