Shamanic Wisdom for Pregnancy and Parenthood by Anna Cariad-Barrett

Author:Anna Cariad-Barrett
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Spirituality/Parenting
Publisher: Inner Traditions/Bear & Company
Published: 2016-12-17T05:00:00+00:00

Support and Self-Care for Stepparents

As Rebecca’s story shares with us, it is essential to prioritize cultivating your own path of selfhood and personal purpose in the midst of stepfamily life. For those seeking to define themselves through the rewards of a romantic relationship and stepparenting their partner’s children, the challenges and complexities of stepfamily life quickly deflate these dreams. If you try to define yourself based on the approval and positive interactions of others, you will find yourself off-center and emotionally triggered through codependency.

You will find meaning, joy, growth, and connection through step-family. In most cases, you will also find a spouse who is juggling the demands of being both partner to you and parent to children going through a big family transition. You will most likely find children who both seek you out and push you away, running hot and cold. As Rebecca shared, it is easier to understand what you cannot be or are not allowed to be in terms of a parenting role than to fully understand who you can be as a stepparent. Kids can sense a stepparent’s internal need for validation and feed off it or challenge you to fulfill their own emotional needs. Building and investing in a solid sense of your authentic self and personal journey will assist you in staying centered and resilient in stepfamily life.

As a stepparent you will be a conduit for the paradoxes of family life. You will feel all the yeses and simultaneous nos. You will feel the pull and the resistance. You will feel the invitations and the rebuffs. You will feel all the growth and creative possibilities as well as the stagnation and limitations. You will feel your own rate of development, your interests, and vision, often holding them in contrast with the abilities and dreams of your stepfamily members. You will feel all the light and dark of family life. As a stepparent you have the ability and role to reconcile all these opposites, but not by being the one to fix them all and be all things to all people. Instead, you can grow internally, learning how to hold all the polarities, opposites, challenges, opportunities, and paradoxes of being in a stepfamily. You can mirror and model self-acceptance, love, and self-care through your life choices. You can widen your ability to hold all the complexities of family life, honoring each person’s path and the larger family you are co-creating. You can teach through your own life how to be midstream with development and relationships. You can live with integrity, honesty, and authenticity. You can do your best and make amends when needed. You can take life one day at a time, rooted and centered in love and growth.

The rewards and meaning of stepparenting are found in the long-term. You will give to these children and your partner in invisible and visible ways. You will make difficult and unpopular choices. You will get it right, and you will get it wrong. You will grow and

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