Rethinking Normal by Katie Rain Hill

Author:Katie Rain Hill
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

12

“GO, SPARTANS!”

August 17, 2010. I was doing it. I was returning to Bixby High School for the first day of my junior year, as Katie Rain Hill. I knew that in terms of official enrollment I was still Luke—neither my mom nor I had contacted the school to let them know I was now Katie—but why should that matter? I was ready to introduce and explain myself in person.

I woke up in the morning and got dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a purple shirt, and black flats. I spent about an hour doing my makeup, and my mom let me use her flat-iron to straighten my hair. When I looked into the mirror, I felt good. I knew I would be met with some discrimination and hate, but I felt ready to conquer it. You will not be weak. You deserve to be understood and accepted, I told myself.

I got into the car with my mom, and we drove the familiar route to Bixby High. She pulled up the school driveway toward the rotunda with the giant blue-and-white B sculpture surrounded by three tall, waving flags—for Oklahoma, the United States of America, and the Bixby Spartans. I could feel the terror building inside me. Oh God, can I really do this? Yes. You belong here, just like everybody else.

“Have a great day,” my mom said, and she leaned in and hugged me.

As soon as I walked through the main doors, I realized I’d had no idea what I was in for. I felt like Lady Gaga dressed in her famous meat-dress surrounded by hungry lions, piranhas, and bears. Everyone was staring at me. I took another few steps, and then a football player came up and spat in my face. “Freak,” he said, and then walked back to his group of laughing friends. I tried to move past it, ignore it, but everywhere I walked, someone was in front of me, telling me to “Go the fuck home,” or pushing me against the wall.

“You make a really ugly girl,” one girl sneered, bumping into me as I entered my first class.

It was philosophy, and I went up to the teacher, Mrs. Whiteman. My voice shaking a little, I said, “Excuse me. Can you please not call attention to me today? I want to stay inconspicuous.”

“No. Everyone needs to participate. It’s not fair to the other students.”

“Okay, but it’s just, my name is Katie,” I said.

Mrs. Whiteman gave me a weird look and nodded. I went and sat down.

“All right, class. I want everyone to stand up and say your name and favorite ice cream flavor.”

“Skylar, lemon sorbet.”

“Brad, chocolate.”

“Melissa, rum raisin.”

Oh no, I was next.

“Katie Rain Hill,” I said, standing up, attempting to steady my wavering voice. “Mint chocolate chip.”

“I have you down as Lukas,” Mrs. Whiteman said.

Everyone giggled.

“He’s so weird. He’s dressed like a girl,” I heard a girl in the front whisper to another.

“No, I’m Katie,” I said to Mrs. Whiteman.

“I think you should sit down, Lukas,” Mrs.

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