Reflect (The Cardigan Estate Book 24) by Emmy Ellis

Author:Emmy Ellis [Ellis, Emmy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-01-19T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

Pippa had been shown to a room on the ground floor. It was like a posh hotel, not rehab, and she sat on the wide bed, Will in an armchair by the bay window. She had a meeting with a consultant later, who’d go through the process with her. If he was to be believed, she’d be off drugs sooner than she’d thought if she was determined to get herself clean. She was. She’d never wanted to walk down the addict path, nor had she thought she’d sell her body for money, but she had. She’d never get over the shame of getting herself into debt, all for things. Stuff. Material crap that sat in her flat doing nothing but show how stupid she’d been, reminding her of it every day. And for what? When she hadn’t been able to keep up with her friends and had got into debt, she’d turned to a new friend, drink.

“How come you’re here?” Will asked.

“Because The Brothers want to help me out.”

“No, why are you here. What happened in your life to get you to this point?”

She flushed, her cheeks getting hot. “Everything seems so stupid now. I was basically trying to fit in, to be something I’m not. I never belonged anywhere—or at least I didn’t feel like I did—and I convinced myself that if I found friends to hang out with, everything would be okay. Except it wasn’t. I got into so much debt I had a bailiff letter. I couldn’t afford to pay my credit card, couldn’t even get enough cash together to do one of those debt consolidation things.”

“If you had no money, where did the drugs come into it?”

She snorted in disgust at herself. “I met Crook.”

She told Will her story, minus the Stephanie shit, and relating it all now, she could see herself for the pathetic cow she’d been, desperate to be seen as someone worthy of being friends with, when all along, she should have just been herself, and if they didn’t like her, tough.

“There was this old man, he tried to tell me, but I didn’t listen. I should never have tried to squeeze myself into their mould.” She sighed. “But I never did understand that people like them weren’t right for me. The women at the office, I mean. There was this girl there, she suggested I go to the pub with her once, before I’d got in with all the others, and I remember looking at her and thinking: You won’t get me to where I need to be. How up my own arse is that?”

“Has all this changed you?”

Pippa nodded. “Losing my baby…” Could she confess to how she’d really felt? Would Will judge her like she’d judged so many others? “I never wanted him, because of the rape, the circumstances. I didn’t even know I was pregnant for ages. Yet when he came out of me and was dead… I wanted him so much, then. It was like I realised

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