One Month to Live by Kerry Shook & Chris Shook

Author:Kerry Shook & Chris Shook [Shook, Kerry & Shook, Chris]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: The Crown Publishing Group
Published: 2008-04-15T00:00:00+00:00

Make It Count Moment

Do you consider yourself a good listener? Why or why not? What prevents you from listening more closely to those you care about? How closely do they listen to you?

Truth Means Trust

As I’ve watched a number of people face the end of their lives, I’ve noticed how motivated they are, finally, to tell the truth. When we remember that our days are numbered, we realize we don’t have time to waste on anything that’s not true.

In relationships the stakes are just too high to beat around the bush, talk behind someone’s back, or not speak honestly. You gain respect when you speak directly. Just as Jesus is “the Word…full of grace and truth” (John 1:14), we need to be honest and up-front. In Patrick Lencioni’s best-selling business book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, he concludes that in most workplaces today, people don’t speak the truth or share their true feelings. They may gossip, they may stab others in the back, they may have strong opinions and hold them in and get bitter, but very few people speak the truth. Why? Because it’s easier just to act nice and say what others want to hear. Everyone acts pleasant because no one really wants to share the truth from a gut level. Lencioni believes this tendency shows a lack of trust in the organization.

Great relationships as well as great organizations are built on trust, and you build trust by telling the truth. The more you tell the truth, the more you cultivate an atmosphere where everybody can be honest. This facilitates real communication, which in turn builds a great business, a great family, or a great marriage, because all great things are built on the foundation of trust. Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly” (TLB). We must be willing to tell the truth but also to temper it with grace. When you’re angry, you need to talk about it. When you feel hurt, you need to talk about it. When you have a strong opinion, you need to share it. But how you share the truth can be just as important as the words themselves.

If you respect others when they speak truth, even if they tell you things you don’t like about yourself, your decisions, or your actions, then they will know that you value them. Even if you disagree, the way you respond to them sends a message that either improves future communication or impairs it. The truth can be messy sometimes, but it always builds trust and strengthens the foundation of the relationship.

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