Nurses' Quarters by Lee Morell

Author:Lee Morell [Morell, Lee]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Lesbian Fiction
Publisher: SRS Internet Publishing
Published: 2011-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

Claire walked into the empty apartment and stood in the middle of the living room. A stab of loneliness pierced her. Birdie was out again. She set about tidying up the unkempt rooms, hanging up things that Birdie in her perpetual haste always left lying around.

Birdie! Her life had been wonderfully secure with Birdie at first. What was it now? Recently, prickles of doubt and dissatisfaction had been bothering her more and more.

This was the night of the housewarming. She had been hoping that Birdie would change her mind and go with her. She had not given up hope until this very morning.

"Well, perhaps you can meet me there after it's over and take me home," she had said encouragingly.

"Don't count on it, kid. I have another place to go."

"So it's Nesta again, is it?" Claire had replied, only half meaning it, but so sorely hurt that the accusation had automatically risen to her lips. Being wanted was so important to her.

Birdie gave her a cool, level gaze. "What if it is? I knew Nesta long before I knew you. Anyway, get her out of your mind. She doesn't concern you."

Claire had succumbed to one of her infrequent flares of temper. "It concerns me, all right!" she shot back. "Because if you want Nesta, you know you can't have me too."

Birdie had frowned. "Have I ever really had you, kid?"

Claire had been bitter. From the moment she had met Birdie, she'd been Birdie's creature. Yet the Charge Nurse continued to doubt, to suspect. What a slap in the face!

"Birdie, you've never believed anything I say. You don't trust me at all!" she had cried passionately.

"I can't put my finger on you, kid. Something about you gets away from me."

Feeling futile and miserable, Claire had watched Birdie don black slacks and a blouse and put on her windbreaker and leave the apartment. It seemed to her that Birdie was looking more mannish every day. Short, crisp curls, and complete absence of makeup, supported the illusion. Only when Birdie was in her white uniform—or wore no clothes at all—did she resemble a woman.

Claire realized well enough that her attitude toward Birdie was changing. Birdie's masculine swagger and manner had been attractive at first. It had helped the illusion that the older woman had a strength she herself lacked, a strength for which Claire leaned on Birdie. But as the months had passed, Claire had been finding more and more that she was embarrassed by Birdie's obvious attempts to ape not only the strength of a man, but also manly appearance and manner. Unlike other lesbians playing the feminine role, Claire herself never got into the habit of thinking of Birdie as a man-creature. It was Birdie the woman with whom Claire had fallen in love.

Claire had come to understand that Birdie confused mannishness with crudity. But she tried hard not to dwell on Birdie's roughnesses. Still, somehow Birdie sensed Claire's reactions and was made uneasy by them. Now, while she was getting dressed, Claire had to confess to herself that she woefully missed Birdie.

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