Living Dangerously by Osho

Author:Osho
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Living Dangerously: Ordinary Enlightenment for Extraordinary Times
ISBN: 9781780280073
Publisher: Watkins Media
Published: 2016-09-01T16:00:00+00:00

The really aware person is one who is capable of living alone. But that is only half the truth. The other half is that the one who is really capable of being alone is also capable of being together with somebody. In fact only he is capable of being in togetherness.

The person who is not able to be alone cannot be together with somebody, because he has no individuality. The person who has no individuality cannot be together with somebody – why? There are many problems. First, he is always afraid that if he comes too close to the other person he will lose himself. He has no integrity yet: he is afraid.

That’s why people are afraid of love, of too much love. People are afraid to come too close, because if they come too close they may dissolve in the other. That is the fear. The other may overpower them, the other may become their whole reality. They may be possessed by the other – that is the fear.

Only a person who knows the beauty of being alone is capable of coming as close as possible, because he is unafraid. He knows that he is, he has an integrated being in him. He has something crystallized in him, because without that crystallized something he would not be able to be alone.

The second thing: when a person is not capable of being alone he is always dependent on the other. He clings – because he is afraid the other may leave, and then he will have to suffer loneliness. He clings, he exploits the other, he creates all kinds of bondages around the other.

And whenever you make the other your possession, you become the possession of the other. It functions in both ways. When you reduce the other to a slave, the other reduces you to a slave. And when you are so afraid of the other’s leaving you, you are ready to compromise; you are ready to compromise in any way.

You will see this happening to all husbands and wives. They have compromised, they have sold their souls, for a single reason: because they cannot be alone. They are afraid the woman may leave, the man may leave – and then? They very idea is so frightening, scary.

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person – without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.

Then why do they want to be together? It is no longer a need, it is a luxury.

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