Johnny B. Goode, Or Else! by Jeffrey Alan Schechter

Author:Jeffrey Alan Schechter [Alan Schechter, Jeffrey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781624881947
Publisher: BookBaby

CHAPTER SIX

I don’t know why people make so many jokes about used car salespeople. I’m sure some are lying, cheating, crooks, but I’m also sure there are some lying, cheating, crooks working at the frozen yogurt store in the mall and you never hear anyone make jokes about them.

My mom didn’t plan on being a used car salesperson. She used to be the office manager down at Jack’s Used Cars and Brushless Wash, but when Jack got married he needed to find a job for his wife. The only job available was in sales.

She lasted 45 minutes.

Then Jack got the idea of giving her my mom’s job and moving my mom to sales. Mom wasn’t so interested in sales, but seeing how my dad had left the month before and she needed to take care of herself, and me and seeing how she was less interested in unemployment, she took sales. And even though she wasn’t setting any records she found out that not only was she good at selling used cars, she even liked it a little.

Jack’s Used Cars and Brushless Wash was less than a mile from my school. I ditched at recess and made it there in fifteen minutes. Racing past the KIA’s and Prius’s I found my mom in her office. I barged in.

She was talking on the phone with Bill, her sometimes boyfriend. She had the same expression on her face that Marty’s nine year old sister gets sometimes when I’m over there and she won’t leave me alone. It’s something to do with liking someone too much.

Mom looked up, surprised to see me. She covered the mouthpiece of the phone with her hand.

“Johnny? What are you doing out of school? Is everything okay?

“Mom, I gotta tell you something.” Her forehead went all creasy and she uncovered the mouthpiece.

“Bill, let me call you back.” She hung up the phone and looked at me, kind of like she was expecting to see some broken bones. “Johnny,” she said. “What is it?”

I didn’t hold back. I needed her to know what was happening to me and I needed her to know now.

“Mom, I know that this is going to sound nuts, but you’ve got to believe what I’m about to tell you.” I took a deep breath. “I’ve been selected by the Federation Of Celestial Orbiters to represent Earth in a series of five tests which, if I pass, will get Earth admitted into the Federation but if I don’t, Earth becomes a class five slave planet.”

I exhaled. She looked at me strangely, not that I could blame her. She opened her mouth to speak and…

…suddenly I was opening her office door again, she was on the phone again, talking to Bill again, looking all surprised to see me again. She covered the mouthpiece of the phone. Again.

“Johnny? What are you doing out of school? Is everything okay?

“Mom, I…”

Wait a second, I just did this, didn’t I? I looked around. Looked at myself. While I was trying to figure out what just happened, she took her hand off the mouthpiece of the phone.

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