In Spite of You by Patrick Lenton
Author:Patrick Lenton [Patrick Lenton]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HG Pantera Press
Published: 2025-05-21T00:00:00+00:00
CHAPTER 14
Looking in the mirror, Jeremy decided that everything was perfect for the wedding except for one huge potential disaster, meaning that nothing was perfect. That was how disasters worked; they were the pineapple on the pizza of events. Only one ingredient was needed to make the whole thing inedible.
All in all, Jeremy thought heâd scrubbed up pretty well. He was wearing the new suit and shirt heâd bought as part of the makeover component of the campaign â forest green with wide lapels, a white linen shirt left open at the neck, old-fashioned brown loafers. He wasnât too humble to admit that the colour perfectly complemented his black hair (slicked back into a semblance of neatness for the occasion) and made his hazel eyes pop. Miles had always said that before he met Jeremy heâd thought hazel eyes were a myth, so naturally Jeremy would be wearing this suit to the reunion too. Heâd contemplated a pocket square or a tie, or even a brooch, but instead heâd gone for two dangly pearl earrings as his only statement accessories. He looked classy and like he wasnât trying too hard: both things that werenât actually true.
The wedding, as he and Sam had plotted, would be the perfect trial run for the reunion. Heâd turn up looking beautiful, with Giraffrey, the most beautiful and boring man in the world, on his arm, and heâd practise being a better version of himself. According to Patsieâs social media strategy, the wedding would also serve as an optimal time to âsoft launchâ Giraffrey on Instagram.
The problem was that Geoffrey the giraffe scientist was an hour late, and Jeremyâs cool-guy attempts at sussing him out via text (Hey angel â just wondering about your ETA? Cya soon!) had gone unanswered.
The wedding was in the highlands, a two-hour drive away, and Jeremy famously didnât have a car, so he couldnât stress how fucked heâd be if his date didnât show up. Plus, his mum would give him that sorrowful look that said, âI literally asked for one thing from you, just one thing,â which would later turn into a kind of condescending pity. The whole revenge rehearsal would be ruined if he didnât have his stupendously attractive giraffe scientist with him.
Jeremy realised he was spiralling and went and got a glass of water. He stood in the kitchen drinking it and staring blankly at the wall. Heâd already checked the texts where theyâd worked out the details, in case heâd accidentally sent the wrong time or the wrong date. Then he did the unthinkable and called Geoffrey. The phone rang out. But then, confusingly, a picture came through â a blurry photo of a bird.
What does that mean? Where are you? wrote Jeremy, his teeth gritted so hard he could hear grinding in his skull.
Another photo of a different bird came through, this time with some ocean in the background and a long hiking track disappearing into the distance.
ARE YOU COMING TO THE WEDDING? Jeremy texted, channelling his motherâs message style.
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