Hard to Be Human by Cadsby Ted;

Author:Cadsby, Ted; [Cadsby, Ted]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: PSYCHOLOGY / Cognitive Psychology & Cognition
Publisher: Dundurn Press
Published: 2021-10-12T00:00:00+00:00

Unfortunately, opening up and climbing into The Space Between is never more difficult than when we have been taken emotionally hostage. Transitioning from self-immersion to self-distancing requires a concerted effort, so before we get into specific emotion-management tools, let’s briefly revisit how to escape System 1’s control.

Getting into The Space Between: Four Techniques

As I described in chapter 2, a reliable starting point for opening up the space is, has always been, and always will be … the breath. Focusing on and controlling our breathing is always available to us and is a proven strategy for opening up space. It can be as simple as just following the breath, in and out, at least three times over at least twenty-five seconds (sometimes that’s all it takes to trigger “the relaxation response”). Or it can be more elaborate, by focusing on a particular sensation associated with each breath, such as your stomach rising and falling or the air flowing past the tips of your nostrils. If I’m experiencing a strong negative emotion, I take a deep breath in and then slowly exhale with a gentle sigh, focusing on the inbreath and the sigh of the outbreath (minimum three times but often more to really stabilize). Focusing on our deep breaths is about as surefire a way to initiate self-distancing as there is. Observing our deep breathing is the kill-switch for emotional overload. It is virtually impossible to be really emotional at the same time that you are focusing on the sensations of deep breathing.

At some point today or tomorrow, when you’re feeling anxious, annoyed, or antsy, try to prove me wrong. You won’t. Not to say the emotions won’t come flooding back when you stop (which is what the balance of this chapter is geared toward handling), but as long as you’re taking deep breaths and paying close attention to them, you’ve unhooked from emotional overload and given yourself freedom to choose your response.

The kill-switch for emotional overload is available any time: deep breaths.

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