Gender Blender by Blake Nelson

Author:Blake Nelson [Nelson, Blake]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-307-48538-0
Publisher: Random House Children's Books
Published: 2006-07-26T16:00:00+00:00

Meanwhile, Tom was having school problems of his own. Just like Emma, he was going to the wrong classes, sitting in the wrong seats, and going into the wrong bathroom. None of which would have been too unusual if he had been good old Tom Witherspoon. But people expected more of Emma Baker.

“What can you tell us about Mount Rushmore, Emma?” Mr. Beatty asked.

Tom quickly glanced around the room. Everyone was staring. “Uh, wasn't Bill Murray in that?”

Mr. Beatty looked puzzled and called on someone else.

The whole day was like that. Tom was the first person teachers called on. They asked him about decimal points. Africa. The forms of democratic government. They asked him about chemical compounds and how to say “I drink my coffee in the restaurant” in Spanish. Tom's joke—“Why don't they just go to Starbucks?”—didn't go over at all. Apparently Emma wasn't very funny.

Tom struggled through his first three periods and was greatly relieved when fourth-period PE class arrived. Nobody would call on him in PE.

He followed Courtney and the other girls into the locker room. That was when he realized what was about to happen. Tom was about to see twenty-five girls completely naked. And then he saw Kelly Angstrom coming in behind him. Could it be? Was it possible? It was: Kelly Angstrom was in his PE class!

But Tom had to be careful. He couldn't draw attention to himself. He calmly walked to Emma's locker while the other girls stripped to their underwear and put on their shorts and gym shirts. Tom tried not to stare at what was happening around him. Especially as Kelly was, quite literally, spilling out of her lacy black bra.

On the soccer field, the girls were much better than Tom expected, and without his normal size and strength he could barely keep up. Kelly was especially fierce. She pushed girls down and elbowed them out of the way. At one point, she knocked Tom flat on his back and then laughed at him while she kicked a goal. Tom lay on the ground looking up at her. She was so beautiful, even from the grassy turf.

Then a new thought came to Tom. This was gym. When the game was over, they'd all go inside.

And take showers.

When Mrs. Weissman blew her whistle, Tom followed the other girls back to the locker room. The conversation turned to Jeff Matthews.

“My cousin from Idaho was visiting,” said Hannah Lewis. “And I showed her a picture of Jeff and she said at her school they think guys like that are cheesy.”

“That's because she doesn't know him,” said another girl.

“She doesn't see him every day.”

“And if she's from Idaho …”

“We know how cute he is, don't we, Emma?” Courtney said.

“I don't think he's that cute,” Tom said. “I think he's sort of a fake.”

All the girls stopped talking.

“What did you say?” Courtney asked.

“The only reason everyone likes him is because everyone else likes him,” Tom said. “Everyone's just copying everybody else.”

All the girls were shocked. This seemed to be the most outrageous statement any of them had ever heard.

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