Football's Flaws & Foibles by Richard Foster

Author:Richard Foster
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Ockley Books
Published: 2017-03-15T00:00:00+00:00

He’s very talented but he’s also as daft as a brush.

Bobby Robson on Paul Gascoigne

There’s always one in every squad. The rascal intent on being the clown prince, hell-bent on causing chaos and anarchy and making a bloody nuisance of himself. He’s unstoppable this man, with an endless supply of hilarious practical jokes to play on his unsuspecting colleagues. Although it is not such a surprise, neither is it that funny, in fact they are right royal pains in the arse with their forced bonhomie and weak wisecracks. They are under the illusion that they are essential for team spirit but their infantile behaviour is a sad indictment of these desperate, pathetic attention seekers. They are masters of self-justification and self-delusion.

It is mainly Paul Gascoigne’s fault as he was always portrayed as the ultimate jester and he just happened to be a simply wonderful footballer and then players must have thought that his magic would rub off on them if they played the giddy goat. Ultimately they all failed as they hardly had a fraction of the natural talent of Gascoigne. But the japes and the practical jokes just keep rolling on. Unfortunately there is nothing quite as tiresome as forced humour and it very quickly becomes really unfunny.

Gascoigne’s infamous belch to a television reporter in Rome in 1993 during his Lazio days did not go down so well with the Italian public. During his brief stay with Middlesbrough he commandeered the team and caused several thousands of pounds worth of damage when almost inevitably he crashed the vehicle. Then there was the moment he did not exactly endear himself to the Norwegians when asked for a few words before a World Cup qualifier in 1992, his quip was blunt and embarrassing - “Yeah, fuck off Norway!”

But despite these and other lapses of judgement the English public adored him and wherever he played, be it Glasgow or Newcastle, London or Liverpool, Rome or Middlesbrough, he was revered because of his incredible talent. Naturally people egged him on to do even worse jokes and japes that were condoned because of the rich, rare artistry he enchanted us with when on the pitch. A lot of his escapades were tasteless and unfunny but this was Gazza so all was forgiven. The idea of the maverick was now firmly established and it was not for the good of our collective health. As a result, training sessions became punctuated by all sorts of tomfoolery and it was de rigeur for every club to have their very own jester.

Mario Balotelli has inherited the mantle with some of his madcap antics whether it be the hilarious setting off of fireworks in his own kitchen, the mock sword fight in an Indian restaurant in Manchester, or the throwing of darts at youth players Balo has done it all and more. In fact he has become the favoured subject of many journalists as he can spawn endless listicles (see List chapter) with his crazy escapades. As with Gascoigne,

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.