Elias Zapples Book of Slugs by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 0000000000000
Published: 2021-10-26T20:17:20+00:00

Trevor the Slug

Trevor the Slug was one of my closest slug friends, perhaps not as close as Steve, but he was one of the slugs I felt I could recite poetry to until the wee small hours. At least I thought I could, until one day he got up and shouted, “I can’t take it anymore!” and stormed off never to be seen again. He was a middle-aged slug and had been with me for many years, so his unusual outburst took all of us by surprise.

I’m man enough to admit that I wept for many days, until the tears were replaced by anger. How dare he be bored by my poetry! So I took the only course of action available, and sent my Crack Commando Slug Unit after him to finish him off. They found the traitorous slug (some American slugs have started calling him Benedict Arnold the Slug), over at Dieter’s recounting what had happened. I had thought that Dieter would have sprayed Trevor with pesticide as soon as he was discovered on his property - however it seems that Dieter will sink to any level, and instead tried to secure his services.

My Crack Commando Slug Unit waited till dusk, then when Dieter had gone off to apply tonic to his inferior moustache, they came charging in and whisked Trevor the Slug away. Trevor the Slug was charged with defamation, treason and consorting with the enemy, and sentenced to death by catapult. He was then catapulted over to the Snails at No.57, where I believe he was stuck in a shell, exported to France, then cooked and served at the Ritz Hotel, Paris. Monsieur Boularot enjoyed eating his escargot (snails) so much that he personally complimented the chef.

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