Complete Secrets of Happy Children by Steve Biddulph

Author:Steve Biddulph
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2013-09-14T16:00:00+00:00

When you were a child, did you learn how to love?

If you didn’t receive much love in your own childhood and babyhood, this can be one of the biggest barriers to letting your love flow – it may be that you didn’t ‘learn to love’. But it’s never too late.

Our parents’ generation cared about their children – but they didn’t always show it, or say it very often. Many of today’s parents were not raised with affection as babies and toddlers. In the ‘icy fifties’, when medicine ruled birth and babyhood, it was considered ‘spoiling’ to be kind to a child. Parents were instructed to leave their babies to cry, or were afraid to feed them unless the clock said they could, or worried they would corrupt their children by cuddling them. Even today some authors and paediatricians advise letting babies cry out their distress alone in their room. What a disaster!

Jean Liedloff, in an article in Mothering magazine, concludes there are two basic feelings that all human beings need. These are to feel welcome, and to feel worthy. In the nineteen fifties and sixties, parents were often quite good at the mechanical side of parenting – feeding and clothing us and keeping us well. This was a pretty good start. But they often had trouble being warm or close, and in those days shame and blame were a big part of the discipline style. One could well grow up feeling unwelcome, and unworthy to boot!

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