Bug-Eyed Monsters by Anthology

Author:Anthology [Anthology]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-05-17T00:00:00+00:00

Then the blast came. Mudge huddled away from it. The girl raged over his head, like the remote lightning come down to earth.

“For your blank blank information, Mister Didymus Blank Blank Mudge, I have just been talking to the captain and Feridur. They don’t know which dash deleted asterisk way to steer for the obscenity station. How could they? Without a reasonably accurate vector—distance within a few hundred kilometers, direction within a compass point or less—they could search the double dash four star exclamation point ocean for an anathematized year without coming near Lonesome Blank Blank Landing. And of course they won’t even attempt it. If they cruised obscenely around in any kind of crudely expressed search pattern, they’d lose their own unprintable way and risk never finding land again. If we don’t give them a deep blue bearing and a sulfurous distance estimate, they’re going to up anchor and head for accursed home tomorrow. AND YOU WANT TO GIVE A LECTURE ON COPERNICAN ASTRONOMY!”

“Oooh,” moaned Ardabadur, trembling.

Exactly, thought Mudge, also trembling.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. At that moment, Feridur twittered. Ulrica stopped in mid-career and faced around. Feridur put the monocle in his eye and repeated the question. Captain Zalakun said something in a protesting tone of voice. Feridur made a sweet reply at which the captain shuddered and backed away. Ulrica turned quite pale.

Mudge listened intently. He heard Feridur ask, with painful distinctness: “Uluka’s kuruta yaldazir itoban urnalik?”

“Yalgesh, Zirvan” said Ulrica, in a small subdued voice and a Swedish accent. “Obunadun haladur erkedivir”

The saw-toothed blade rasped from Feridur’s sheath. He giggled. “Yagatun!”

Ulrica clenched her fists. Then, suddenly, she spat at the Harakuni’s feet. The color flamed back in her cheeks. “Yagatun zoltada, Yaldazir Feridur!” she snapped.

“Eep!” said Feridur, horrified at such manners. Captain Zalakun sought to remedy the breach, but got nowhere. The sailors burrowed in the sand, trying to make themselves inconspicuous. Finally Zalakun himself went off in giant kangaroo leaps toward the tents.

“What is this?” whispered Mudge.

Ulrica said in a harsh tone: “Feridur wanted to know if you can locate the Earth base, since I can’t. When I admitted you had only been playing games, he said he would fight me. I have explained that the vitamin pills are necessary for our life, so he knows we would soon die in any case when he turns homeward. He wants to take my skull in combat instead, for his collection.”

“What?” squeaked Mudge. The island revolved around him. He stumbled, feeling blackness in his head. Ulrica caught him.

“Don’t be afraid,” she said in the same metallic voice. “You are not worth fighting—no glory in taking your head. They will keep you for a pet, I suppose . . . and you will have my pills . . . and it is barely possible, in that extra time a search party will chance upon you.”

“But this is ghastly!” stammered Mudge. “I mean, it isn’t done!”

“It seems to be.” Ulrica managed a bleak grin. “Maybe I can take Feridur’s head.

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