BEGGAR_I Was the Enforcer, She Made Me a Man by Shan R. K

Author:Shan R. K. [K., Shan R.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: angst, biker romance, suspenseful thriller, Mafia thriller, Navy SEALs, kindlereads, dark romance, motorcycle club series, abuse and domestic violence, second chance romance, hate to lovers
Goodreads: 34515459
Publisher: Shan R.K
Published: 2017-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 15

Zero

“NOT SURE MAN, SPOKE to the boys in Mississippi, Loui, Kansas. Dexter even went as far as New York, but we don't wanna be digging in Deno’s turf. He’ll take it as an insult and we might just find ourselves in a cross fire with the Famiglia.” Knight explains. I trust the guy, he’s Italian and a war with Famiglia will put Killer in a tight spot. We can't have that.

We're all sitting in the basement. Our mind on one purpose, finding Jade. Either she's been kidnapped or worse, dead.

After Beggar fled the room earlier I destroyed half my bedroom. I was angry at myself for wanting her so bad, for losing control. I was furious with her for stopping me and also for making me this way. And those words, what the fuck was I thinking. I called her the very thing I said wouldn't. I threatened her.

I was losing my fucking mind, so I did the best thing and jumped on my bike and left. Went to see my dad. He wasn't there, so I cooled off at the barn.

The need to clear my head and get my shit together was potent.

I’m a grown man acting like a fucking kid who can't keep it in his pants. Then snaps, blaming a twenty one year old for my attraction to her.

Truth is, I am attracted to Beggar but is it physical or something deeper, I wished I had a fucking clue. We've barely spoken in these past five days. It's all my fault , I've been a snippy snarling jackass to her since I took her to the park.

I couldn't even fuck Falon without thinking of Beggar, I know I should break things off with Falon. I've never cheated on a woman before. I did it today, I cheated on the woman I wanted to claim. Falon doesn't deserve that, Beggar doesn't deserve it.

What if I didn't leave Falon and Beggar is the one. What if I did leave Falon and Beggar and I didn't work out.

My mind raked up questions and answers, by the time I got back two hours later, it was clear that I had to get to know Beggar. I had to risk this with Falon and see if there was anything between Beggar and I besides the urge to fuck her.

Five days I've watched Beggar talk and smile with my brothers and the women. Five days I held off. I continued to ignore her and treat her badly hoping the urge to want her would wane. But the need, the pull increased. At the same time I've been asking myself why her, why don't I have these feeling for Falon. I care for Falon enough to marry her, well at least I did a week ago. Now I'm ready to dump her and I don't feel an ounce of regret. Fuck my life.

Today Beggar offered to help me even though I deserve the pain from every punch Killer delivered. I asked him to do it.

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