Anger Management Workbook for Men: Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions by Karmin LCPC Aaron

Author:Karmin LCPC, Aaron [Karmin LCPC, Aaron]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Althea Press
Published: 2016-05-24T00:00:00+00:00

Techniques for Letting Go of Anger

In this section, we’ll look at three powerful ways to speed up the process of healing from anger: practicing forgiveness of others’ hurtful behavior, nurturing self-respect, and writing about situations that provoke anger and other painful emotions.

PRACTICING FORGIVENESS

When you hold on to past hurt, you’re actually trying to relieve your pain by putting other people down and building yourself up. You may imagine that nursing old wounds is the way to be in control and prevent the humiliating exposure of your imperfections. You may even entertain vengeful fantasies of finally achieving fairness by hurting the people who hurt you. But instead of trying to control or redeem a hurtful situation, you can focus on managing your reaction to it.

One of the best ways to heal from anger is to forgive the people who hurt you. The act of forgiveness gives you new options for living your life on a much more realistic basis. Besides, if you don’t forgive old wounds, they’ll stay deep down inside you forever. Is that what you want?

Forgiveness has nothing to do with condoning or excusing the wrongs that were done to you. It means letting go of those old wounds so you can move on with your life. And forgiveness has nothing to do with assessing the degree of other people’s guilt, or the relative evil of their intentions. That’s because forgiveness is not about other people at all.

You forgive others for your own benefit, not theirs. The people who hurt you don’t even have to know that you’ve forgiven their hurtful behavior. Your act of forgiveness is between you and yourself—it’s no one else’s business. In chapter 4 , we’ll look at some ways to foster forgiveness by not taking others’ wounding behavior personally.

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