A Little Less of a Hot Mess by Kaitlin Soulé

Author:Kaitlin Soulé [Soulé, Kaitlin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781951412661
Publisher: The Collective Book Studio

Your invitation in . . .

We all have different circumstances or life events that trigger our fear of uncertainty and ultimately our struggle to reckon with the truth that we have control over so few things in life. It’s vulnerable to make space and room for uncertainty, takes a lot of practice and calls for a lot of grace. Your stories around dealing with uncertainty might be different than mine, but they’re undoubtedly a part of your story. What I learned the most from my own battle with anxiety is that I need to give myself a lot more space for grace. I need to be kinder to myself. I haven’t always been so good at giving myself grace . . . and I know I’m far from alone in that. In my one-on-one work with hundreds (or maybe even thousands) of women and men alike, I can say that we are universally challenged when it comes to being kind to ourselves.

Even with a graduate degree, a few fancy certificates, some meds, and a lot of my own self-work I, just like you, waver when it comes to my ability to welcome uncertainty. Our ability to allow space for the unknown will ebb and flow, but as long as we are willing to continue welcoming it—we are moving in the right direction.

Remember how I said we as humans are far more adaptable to change than we recognize? Well, this is the part where we’re going to work on bolstering your belief in your ability to move with the ebb and flow of life. What does welcoming uncertainty actually look like in practice? It looks like loosening our grip around how we think things “should be” or how things “might turn out,” and making room for all the possibilities and unknowns. It looks like living from a place that is led by our values, not by our fear. It looks like practicing mindfulness by allowing ourselves to be present in the moment as opposed to traveling back to the past or forward to the future (the places that anxiety LOVES to live in).

I have had the honor of watching so many brave souls go to battle with their fear of uncertainty. The perfect example? One of my clients, a forty-year-old woman named Kate was highly anxious and always avoided driving on freeways out of fear of all the bad things that could happen. She would imagine car accidents, suffering from a panic attack on the freeway with her kids in the car, and just about every scary thing associated with driving. Because of where she lived, this meant she rarely left the house and wasn’t able to attend events important to her (kids’ games, weddings, social gatherings, etc.). We started slowly by practicing what we call imaginal exposures (imagining scary things happening and then sitting with the emotions that come up without trying to get rid of them) and moved toward driving together on the freeway. Once Kate recognized all the

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