A Family Shaped by Grace by Gary Morland

Author:Gary Morland
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Family & Relationships;REL012000;FAM000000;FAM013000
ISBN: 9781493407309
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2017-04-01T04:00:00+00:00

Acceptance Can Transform the Person Accepted

I cried while watching Phantom of the Opera. A male friend told me he did the same thing. We were both surprised; we bonded in discovering our secret. And we both cried for the same reason.

Near the end of the show, we began to connect the dots of why this guy is so mean and angry. He’s a talented genius who’s disfigured, who’s never been loved, and who’s grasping for love and acceptance to the point of eliminating anyone in his way.

When he gets alone with Christine, he lifts the mask hiding his ugliness to kiss her on the forehead. Despite his ugliness, she accepts him and kisses him back. Experiencing acceptance of his true self, he opens up even more, and we discover that he has never ever given or received a kiss, not even from his own mother. It’s overwhelming to him, and it’s overwhelming to us. Maybe men cry because we identify with hiding rejection and loneliness under a gruff exterior. Now we see the real Phantom. We see past his outward behavior and sympathize with how he got that way. Each of us—even your family nemesis—has a story of how we got where we are.

(Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen Phantom of the Opera!) The Phantom experiences grace from Christine, and then he gives it back by rescuing his rival for her affections and letting them both go free. Acceptance has softened him and connected him with someone in a way he’s never been connected before. (End spoiler alert.)

How can you see beyond the stereotypes and connect with your family members? Accepted people open their hearts up and are generous; hurting people close their hearts up and hurt others.

If you’re confused or scared or feel insignificant, you might be short-tempered and selfish and act in ways that hurt others. If you feel unloved, you might be lonely and bitter and do unreasonable things to try to get love. Fill a family or a marriage with hurting people, and hurt will be multiplied.

But if your need for love and acceptance and approval is met, you can stop grasping desperately for it.

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