101 Tips for Improving Your Business Communication by Edward Barr

Author:Edward Barr [Edward Barr]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Business Expert Press
Published: 2021-02-08T16:00:00+00:00

TIP #49

Write a Powerful First Sentence

Look at this potential first sentence. “I write to suggest that we immediately invest $10 million in new equipment and staffing to complete the XYZ Project three months early and realize a return on investment of $5 million.” That’s not what you call “beating around the bush.” Beginning with specific numbers and actions sets the stage for more specific information followed by more abstract information. Remember, the business brain doesn’t want to deal in abstractions.

Follow with a strong second sentence. “I will manage the investment and the process of acquiring the equipment and staffing.” Then, “follow this message with a complete and documented plan as well as a communication strategy. In the plan, you will see the step-by-step processes for acquisition and recruitment . . .” I have answered the “who, what, when, where, why, how, and how much” questions, very quickly.

Ask for action. “After you have reviewed the plan, please respond by close of business this week with your questions and/or approval and I will initiate this effort.”

Call now! Write! Order now! Operators are waiting! A Call-to-Action is nothing new. Advertisers use this approach every day. They don’t hide their objective deep in an ad. They begin with what they want, they want you to buy. Why use this approach? Because it works. Ask for the action!

Application

I had a friend in high school who approached young women and said, “Will you go to dinner with me on Saturday night?” He never made his request at the end of small talk; he began with his request. He claimed that if he asked 10 young women, he would be sure to get one date. But, he never used any preliminaries. He just came straight to the point and had dinner with young women quite often.

Executives are like dates in some ways. You want them to go down a certain path with you. They probably know you better from past interactions, so why not get right to the point with them, not wasting their time. They will love you for it and will likely want to date you again, so to speak.

Story

Want to write for action in business? Use the “In-Your-Face” (inductive approach)! That is, give the reader the who-what-when-where-why-how-how much—in the first sentence.

Let’s face it; no one has time any more to read lengthy memos, letters, RFPs or reports. Everyone wants to “cut to the chase” (in the case of RFPs, the executive summary). Why? Because we live in an over-communicated society. Too many blogs, ads, e-mails, IMs, and other distractions. We need a quick and simple message that rings with clarity and hits home with the force of a punch.

Want to penetrate this fog of messages? It bears repeating: Use a journalistic style. Cite the facts quickly. Give the who-what-when-where and so on in the first sentence.

Say you are on a consulting assignment and you have determined that you can close the project two weeks early and increase the return if you are given two more programmers and two new laptops at a cost of $150,000.

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