Women and Girls with Autism Spectrum Disorder by Sarah Hendrickx

Author:Sarah Hendrickx [Hendrickx, Sarah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780857009821
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2015-04-26T16:00:00+00:00

Sharing

As discussed in Chapter 4, in early childhood females with autism have difficulties with the concept of sharing, and for some that doesn’t go away. They may have learned that sharing is something that is required and will concede without complaint, but that does not mean that it comes easily. Lending or sharing an item means a loss of control and not knowing where that item is, along with a feeling of insecurity: ‘How will I get it back?’ This is associated with a preference for routine, sameness and a dislike of change – specifically, change that is implemented by others. All of these elements encompass the same basic stressors: ‘I don’t know how to make sense of this and how to maintain control’. Controlling possessions, tasks and environments reduces stress and anxiety. Women with autism are generally not team-players and prefer to go it alone when doing tasks and projects.

The sharing of space when co-habiting causes issues. One of the key factors in my own ability to function well is knowing where every single item I possess is – always. I never need to worry about not having what I need or having to look for it. I know where to find what I will require at any given moment in time; therefore stress is reduced to zero. Living with other people means that things are moved. The impact of this is huge for me – far greater than simply the annoyance of having to look for or ask for something. The certainty of my personal physical world is the foundation of my existence, and it is hard for others to understand that my extreme distress at someone having moved the sticky tape is not an over-reaction or a sign of mental illness; it’s all an easily explainable part of my autism.

Very leery of lending people anything, even in the event of loaning something as meagre or trivial as a pencil. Far too aware of the time that each person spent with a loaned item as well, and would be combative if someone was notably ‘hogging’ something for long periods when compared with the rest of those concerned. (Woman with autism)

I do not share. Over the years, for the few times I have shared, I have learned that I will never get whatever I shared back in any form, nor will the kindness be reciprocated at any point in time. (Woman with autism)

I hate people to be in my space and my stuff […] When I moved in with my husband I completely freaked out for at least a year. He is now well and truly part of the furniture! (Woman with autism)

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