An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis by Gillan Drew

An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis by Gillan Drew

Author:Gillan Drew
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781784505301
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Published: 2017-02-25T05:00:00+00:00


Living alone

Many people that I know with autism opt to live alone as they are unable to cope living with others. It is often more expensive this way and you end up with a smaller space, but the benefits from not having to socialize within your home or share your facilities can make up for the lack of space. It is not difficult to see why living alone is a popular choice for people on the spectrum. With a sturdy front door between you and the world you don’t have to answer to anybody who knocks, and you know that other than somebody delivering a parcel, you are unlikely to be disturbed from one day to the next. You can make dinner or drinks any time that you like, without the worry about planning it around somebody else’s timetable, and every rule within the household is one that you have come up with and can follow to the letter. Importantly, you do not have to compromise or suppress your autistic behaviours or act a certain way in order to fit in with other people – you can relax and be yourself, provided you follow whatever rules the landlord has in place such as no noise after 11p.m. As a safe retreat from the world, a place to relax and indulge your obsessions as you unwind, I found living alone a far easier, less stressful and more empowering manner of living than sharing with other people.

However, these very benefits can become disadvantages if you’re not careful. It is possible to become extremely isolated in this situation, particularly if not working. While many of us might not have friends, and some might not even want them, a certain amount of social contact, such as a simple ‘good morning’ or ‘good evening’, is healthy for all of us. Furthermore, if you do want friendships or more social contact, you have to be self-motivating and force yourself out into the community, perhaps joining clubs or accepting invitations from people at work, or even inviting people round. Otherwise, what at first seems great can lead you to become withdrawn, which in turn makes it even harder to socialize. Living alone without working, and with no reason to leave the house except for food shopping, I once spent around three months without talking to anyone. When I then got a job I found I had developed a stutter and shyness that it took me a few years to overcome. I know several people with autism who live alone and find it excruciatingly lonely, yet prefer this to living with people. Unfortunately, there is no ideal solution to this problem and we all must come up with ways of dealing with it.

Another problem with living alone is that in being able to indulge our autistic behaviours without a check, we can lead ourselves into unhealthy lifestyles. When living with people you operate on a regular clock cycle, so that you are aware when it is morning or evening or late at night and alter your behaviour accordingly.



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