Will I Ever Be Free of You? by Karyl McBride Ph.D

Author:Karyl McBride, Ph.D.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atria Books

Your Internalized Messages

In researching Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, I found that women had internalized negative messages based on how they had been treated by their narcissistic mothers. You may have internalized similar messages based on your love relationship with a narcissist. This is also true if both of your parents were narcissists and does not only apply to women. It is important for you to be able to identify these messages so you are aware of your sensitivities. The most common ones are:

• I feel unlovable.

• I feel never good enough.

• I feel empty.

• I have crippling self-doubt.

• I feel valued for what I do rather than for who I am.

• I don’t trust my own feelings.

All of these internalized messages can get triggered when dealing with a narcissist, and you can feel depressed or angry. For example, if you internalized self-doubt from your upbringing with a narcissistic parent, when you are insulted by your narcissistic ex, it is easy to doubt yourself again rather than trust your gut or intuition. If you felt unlovable growing up with your narcissistic parent, and then again with your narcissistic partner, it is easy to believe that no one can love you. If you have always felt valued for what you do rather than for who you are, you need to work on valuing yourself now and giving yourself credit for your character and personality, not just for what you are achieving. Becoming aware of these internalized messages will help you to disengage from your narcissistic partner.

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