When You're Not F*cking Fine by Emily Reynolds

Author:Emily Reynolds
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2020-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

KEEP IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY

It’s always a nice feeling when you turn up to the dorms on your first day of college and your roommate doesn’t appear to be completely intimidating. They seem nice! It’s unlikely that they’re going to murder me as I sleep! I’m probably not even going to be that annoyed when they “borrow” food from my cupboard! This is amazing! It can be easy to form incredibly intense bonds with your new roommate and classmates as soon as you get to college.

It’s great. I’m not saying it’s not great. Many people go on to form lifelong friendships with people they meet at college. It can be difficult to predict which of these brand-new best friends is going to stick, though—that perennial friendship may not even emerge until you’re in your last year. You may have lots of friends to begin with, but those friendships are often shallow and based more on convenience and insecurity than they are on a genuine connection. Talking about your mental health with these people is not always an option.

You may also feel like your mental health is something to be ashamed of, something that could put off potential friends. It’s not, obviously. We all know that, really. But I found that feeling hard to shake when I went to university, and so I never talked about it. And, as we have seen, that did not end up going well for me.

So keep in touch with your existing friends and family, no matter how busy you are or how bowled over by new friends and new experiences. Communicate how you feel to them; tell them about the tiny embarrassments and the big fuckups and the ebb and flow of your moods. Schedule regular calls—this way you can tell them what’s going on with you, and you’ll have something to look forward to. Things like Skype, Facebook chat, and WhatsApp make it easier than ever to keep in touch with your friends—they know you so well, and knowing that you have that support network, no matter how far away, can really, really help.

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