What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew by Dr. Sharon Saline

Author:Dr. Sharon Saline [Saline, Sharon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2018-08-07T00:00:00+00:00

You are now ready to sit down with your child or teen at a predetermined time (i.e., not in the middle of an argument) to talk about homework. Start by asking them the same questions you asked yourself and write down their answers. This not only helps you remember exactly what they said but it also shows them you are taking their opinions seriously. Then, discuss what is going well with homework and what isn’t. Ask what differences they would like to see and share your opinions too. Together, pick one issue that you both have identified as problematic. Is it getting started? Is it staying focused on the assignments? Is it remembering to turn in the work? Write down what you decide in your notebook for future reference or even post it in the kitchen.

Most kids ask for incentives that involve technology: more computer, television, or gaming time. You can do this, but you can also offer your time with them as an additional incentive. Regardless of what they say or do to the contrary, you matter a great deal to them. Kids want to feel that they are your priority and that you share a connection. For elementary school kids, playing a game, building LEGOs, kicking the soccer ball, or reading together can be something to eagerly anticipate. It’s a bit tougher with middle school and high school kids since what they often want is space away from you and with their friends: whether it’s going online, or to the mall, parties, or sleepovers. But they might opt for watching a television show with you (one that they really like even if you don’t), cooking something together, or cyber shopping. If you offer this, you must specify beforehand the guidelines about together time. A parent recently asked me if she should take away time with her adolescent son if he didn’t fulfill his part of the bargain. My answer was no. I advised her to set up a dual-option program. If he does his part of the agreement, you both relax and watch his favorite show (Option One). If he doesn’t, you will work together to clean his room (Option Two). Either way, you are spending time together. After two sessions of tidying his room, her son’s cooperation improved. Soon they had watched three seasons of Game of Thrones.

Let’s set up the details of the plan that you both can agree on. This includes establishing the total length of the desired study time and shorter work periods. These blocks are then broken up by timed breaks of no longer than ten minutes. Depending on your child’s or teen’s age, interest, and your house rules, breaks can include snacks, a game of cards, a phone call, walking around, playing with a pet, texting, Instagram, etc. At the end of the entire homework period, your child has hopefully earned their incentive by doing the agreed-upon work. If the work is not completed, then the reward doesn’t occur. If the agreement

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