What Are You Afraid Of? by Lavinia Plonka

Author:Lavinia Plonka [Plonka, Lavinia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Self-Help, Motivational & Inspirational
ISBN: 9781585423934
Google: 7nAP9IWETVMC
Amazon: 1585423939
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 2005-03-29T21:00:00+00:00

With success comes responsibility, the attention and expectations of others. It’s a lot easier to sit in your room and muse about what might have been if you had only made that call, gone to that audition, tried to manufacture that product. At least you don’t have the world banging at your door putting all kinds of expectations and pressures on you. No one expects much from a failure. When you’re a success, people suddenly become your best friends because they want to bask in your success. Not only that, but when you’re successful everyone is watching, waiting for you to blow it. How can you know who your real friends are?

Katie was a beautiful girl, slim, a champion skier, an accomplished gymnast. Her father had raised her to be perfect. So perfect that when she spent her first weekend away with a boyfriend, she never let him see her go in the bathroom for fear he would think she was coarse, merely human. Men were always hitting on her, even after she was married. She tried to be all things to all people—attractive, active, vivacious, fun. Then she was in a motorcycle accident and hurt her back. “You’ll be on your feet in no time!” “We expect you on the slopes any day now!” “Boy, will your family be grateful when you’re able to take care of them again.” Katie stopped walking. Her legs froze. She blamed the accident. She blamed the medical diagnosis, which was never clear—a vague statement about MS-like symptoms. She spent her time watching Oprah and QVC, eating massive amounts of ice cream and growing bigger every day.

We began working together on the tension in her shoulders. Because her legs were untrustworthy, Katie tensed her shoulders and neck each time any movement was required. Soon we discovered that she could move her pelvis and waist, something she had forgotten once she became wheelchair-bound. Different movements reminded Katie of dance moves, ballet postures, skiing techniques from her youth. Many of the somatic memories led to recollections of her demanding father, her critical mother, the first husband who nearly beat her to death because her makeup wasn’t perfect for a dinner party... After much work, she admitted being terrified by the thought of having to go back to being the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect athlete, the perfect beauty. By recognizing her fear of the demands of success, she felt freer. She stopped smoking. She went on a diet. She began to do volunteer work. She began reclaiming her life.

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