Two Comedies by Bruce Adam

Author:Bruce Adam
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-06-04T00:00:00+00:00

Mary, Mary

MARY, MARY was first produced by Dunfermline Dramatic Society at Carnegie Hall Theatre on 5th April 2002. The performance was directed by Les Parker, with sets by Tomm Campbell and Pamela Henderson and lighting by Neil McCallum. The cast was as follows:

MARY WILSON Mary Parker

MARY MACKENZIE Leonie Bisset

TERRY WILSON Tomm Campbell

MARY LEVIN Pamela Henderson

CHARACTERS

TERRY WILSON, 30s, widower

MARY WILSON, his mother, eccentric, linguistically challenged

MARY MACKENZIE, young, sober

MARY LEVIN, young, drunk

MARY, MARY

(A living room. Sofa downstage right, small table centre, chairs upstage centre and downstage left. Door upstage centre.)

(When the curtain rises MARY MACKENZIE is sitting rather awkwardly on the sofa. MARY WILSON enters from the kitchen with crisps and dip.)

WILSON. Here we are, Mary, some crisps and dips. Just help yourself. Dinner won’t be long. I hope Terry hasn’t gone to the pub. He already drinks far too much in my view. Can I offer you a drink – gin?

MAC. I don’t drink – something soft perhaps?

WILSON. Or perhaps we ought to wait for Terry. Have a crisp and dip.

(MAC takes a crisp and is about to dip it when:)

WILSON. No! Not that one! That’s the garlic – play your cards right and you never know, eh?

MAC. I’m not sure I…

WILSON. Breath.

MAC. What?

WILSON. Garlic breath – not good for, what is it you youngsters call it – shagging?

MAC. I beg your…

WILSON. No that’s not it – snogging, that’s it.

MAC. Listen, Mrs Wilson…

WILSON. Boys don’t kiss girls with myxomatosis, do they?

MAC. Mrs Wilson…

WILSON. Mary, please. Isn’t it a coincidence? Both of us being called Mary.

MAC. Yes, it’s such an unusual name. Mrs Wilson, I’m not sure this is such a good idea.

WILSON. This is just a little dinner – no pressure. It’s just I’m keen to get my Terry out and about again after… well, you heard about his wife, of course.

MAC. I had heard something about Terry being a widower. I’ve only just joined the staff so…

WILSON. Tragic really. Thirty-four.

MAC. Had she been ill?

WILSON. Run down.

MAC. After a long illness?

WILSON. By a furniture van.

MAC. Oh.

WILSON. Reversed right over her, they say.

MAC. How dreadful.

WILSON. I can’t understand how she didn’t hear it. They usually make noises when they reverse don’t they? Beep, beep, beep. Mind you, Avril never did concentrate. I’ve seen me speaking to her for hours and she just sat there with a glazier expression on her face. Terry nearly saw it you know – he was in the high street just after it. They were just cleaning up the blood – have some of that red dip, it’s so lovely.

MAC. Mrs Wilson…

WILSON. Mary, dear, please. Yes, I was speaking to Avril only yesterday and she never says anything about the accident and I don’t like to press her – oh dear, press her!

MAC. You were speaking to her? But I thought you said she was…

WILSON. Dead, dear? Oh, she is – as a doorbell.

MAC. Then how…

WILSON. They’re always coming through to me, Mary dear – the spirits. They contact me in all sorts of ways.

MAC. Really?

WILSON. I’ve seen

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