To Be Wolves by Debra May Macleod

Author:Debra May Macleod
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
Published: 2021-07-22T23:12:56+00:00

* * *

Julia’s screams hadn’t stopped all night, and they brought in the dawn. She was having a long and difficult birth. Agrippa had been a very large man.

As difficult as the birth was to Julia, it was even more difficult for her stepmother, Livia. The empress knew that it should’ve been her, his wife, giving Octavian a child, not his daughter giving him yet another grandchild.

Another scream. It had to be soon. Livia closed her eyes. She prayed to Fortuna and then to Juno that the child would be another girl. Another girl would be next to useless to Octavian. She could not be Caesar’s heir and would be sent away to live with her sister so that Julia could try again. At least that would buy more time for Livia.

Octavian paced back and forth in front of the closed door to Julia’s bedchamber. He prayed to Juno this child would be a boy. Sighing, he leaned against the wall and thumped the back of his head against a vibrant mural of a peacock. “How can it take so long?” he muttered. “It did not take this long the first time.”

“Husband,” said Livia. “Come and sit next to me.” She patted the cushioned seat next to her, and he moved to sit beside her on the marble bench. She ran her fingers through his hair, and he sighed again.

Livia sighed too. Ever since that night of debauchery with Tacita—Livia could not bring herself to think of the ways she had debased herself—Octavian had shown more interest in her and less interest in his inventory of mistresses. She knew that every time he took her, he was reliving that night in his head. He now touched her the way that Tacita had touched her. Livia cringed. The experience continued to make her feel violated. But at least it had rekindled his desire for her in bed.

Out of bed, not much had changed. He did not ask her opinion on things or seek her support the way that he used to. The one exception, however, was with her work on the fasti. The Vestalis Maxima had told Caesar that Livia’s work updating the religious calendar had been exceptional. That had pleased him. He was always pleased by her religious work.

It was ironic, though, that after all these years and their history that the Vestal would help her. Then again, the priestess Pomponia had always been one to favor the predictability of the status quo. She probably didn’t want Livia replaced any more than Livia wanted to be replaced.

Octavian turned to Livia as Julia’s deep groans of agony pulsed through the closed door. “It is good that her mother is with her, is it not?” he asked.

Of course not, thought Livia. The last thing I need is Scribonia, your shrew of an ex-wife, sniffing for crumbs around here. It’s bad enough your daughter has moved back in. “Of course it is good,” she forced herself to say. “Her mother will be a great comfort to her.

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