The Unlikely Village of Eden by Emma Nadler

Author:Emma Nadler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Central Recovery Press, LLC

CHAPTER FOURTEENThe Eden

I wanted to let go of a lot of things, like my friendship with Quinn, but I often felt stuck in how my life was supposed to turn out, as if that would somehow serve me. Eden’s self-injurious behavior (especially, her head banging) was one of those things that shocked and disturbed me from the beginning. This reaction may have been wired into my humanity, due to the safety concerns and the need for immediate intervention. How does one let go while simultaneously being right there, trying to minimize permanent brain damage?

Agonizingly, Eden lacked the skills to express what was going on inside of her, so she would show us her frustration or pain by hitting herself above her eyebrows with her tiny, clenched fist or slamming her head against whatever hard surface was immediately available. If she hurt herself, she would keep on going, undeterred. It ramped up when she was sick and uncomfortable. Witnessing this was a fast track to heartbreak.

Despair was never very far away. I stumbled into it like a patch of uneven pavement suddenly underneath me, which sparked tears and harried phone calls and shaky neighborhood walks. I did what I could to move through it—which was sometimes what I thought other people might do to cope, people who were less prone to sensitivity and more prone to matter-of-factness. People like my mother.

And if there was one thing my mom taught me, it was to celebrate the good stuff, preferably with some dancing. And Eden loved to dance morning, noon, or night.

On the good days, Eden was a tiny bit of magic in everyday life. Magic that knew how to shimmy. She did with her neck what Shakira did with her hips. My daughter’s neck didn’t lie.

So, for Eden’s second birthday, we did something that always made me feel more hopeful about everything.

We hosted a dance party.

Because of her mobility challenges, Eden created her own version of twerking, adapting it to something that could have, and should have, swept the nation. The Eden involved a fast head bobble, and later a backward shuffle plus arm motions ideally accompanied by the song “Push It” by Salt-N-Pepa.

When Eden started to transcend way beyond The Eden with ‘80s inspired flair, I knew my mother had gotten to her. I was right; she owned up to it proudly. Nana was a wild dancer with zero shame, her moves the opposite of despair. The one where Eden put her hands up to her ears with her elbows out to the side, and then pumped her body? That one was all my mother, with a subtle pelvic thrust involved, too.

Eden came by her love of dancing honestly. This part was transferred through her DNA, and it was not the part that got lost. Nadlers are always the first to get on the dance floor at any event or wedding (although, thankfully, not before the couple do their own dance). We are also apt, and highly motivated, to create a makeshift dance floor whenever possible.

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