Love, Pamela by Pamela Anderson

Author:Pamela Anderson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

VIII

AFTER A VERY SUCCESSFUL AND WILD TRIP TO THE CANNES FILM festival, the movie Barb Wire was green-lighted. Nobody knew how well received the idea would be. We started shooting right away. The schedule was taxing. It was my first introduction to such long, long hours, involving exciting and dangerous stunts that I did mostly myself. Learning to ride a motorcycle. Kickboxing in a tiny, restrictive corset. Rolling around while shooting guns like Desert Eagles and assembling at hyper speed MP5K fully automatics.

My new husband was with me on set every minute. He’d wait for me naked in my trailer, and when I came back to rest between scenes, he’d purposely mess up my hair and makeup and unlace my corset. A tactic used to spend more time together. Because I was his, he’d said. He wanted his “wife time.” All of his antics kept getting us in trouble. One day, Tommy punched the producer in the face after he’d been told to go home. And was banned. But he would have none of that. He would park his car next door—his black Ferrari Testarossa was easy to spot—and he’d just jump the fence to be with me in my trailer. I was used to his behavior and initially thought it was funny. I interpreted it as his showing me how much he loved me and that he needed me to show him more attention.

It was a challenging time. I hardly slept, I was working constantly between the movie and Baywatch, and I was freshly married. It felt like I needed to be “on” 24/7, and yet I could barely stay awake. Then a girlfriend introduced me to something that would keep me going a bit longer. I had never been into harsh drugs—these were speedy diet pills, ephedrine she got from her boyfriend. I liked how the pills kept me awake, and I could get a lot more done. But the side effects meant I was losing weight fast. I looked like a bowlegged skeleton in a bathing suit, 105 pounds at five foot seven. In some of the Baywatch episodes filmed during that time, even the tiniest waves would knock me over. Everyone began to get concerned, and rightly so. I started to withdraw, keep to myself on and off the set. I was worried about upsetting Tommy. He got so angry and jealous when I had scenes with other men, especially if I was kissing someone else. That was out of the question. They started changing the dialogue and scenes if they saw Tommy coming. I even wore a pager on the back of my bathing suit on set—“007” meant “call Tommy now.” Baywatch was like my family, and they could see how this stress, pressure, and desire to make everyone happy were affecting me.

One day, I didn’t show up to set. It wasn’t like me, I was never late to work. I was always early, in fact. The driver, Fal, came to my condo to find me unconscious on the floor.

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