The Roughcut Cookbook by Pete Christensen

Author:Pete Christensen [Christensen, Pete]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AKW Books
Published: 2015-01-01T08:00:00+00:00

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SCHOOL LUNCHES

The U.S. Agriculture Department once suggested yogurt replace meat in school lunches. The idea was laughed at then. Today we know it’s a healthy, cheap alternative source of protein.

Not that it really matters. That blue haired woman in the hairnet is still shoveling pounds of ‘saltpeter’ into every dish they serve anyhow.

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THE MIDNIGHT PICNIC

For women, there are few things more romantic than a picnic. Mainly because it involves three things they find absolutely irresistible: a completely unrealistic, fantasy situation found only in cheap, romance, paperbacks, a man waiting on them hand and foot, and guilt free junk food.

I’m lucky. I’ve got a large backyard for a picnic, and an even larger surrounding wall to keep anyone from seeing me humiliating myself. You don’t need a back yard. You can pull this off anyplace, just so long as it’s isolated, clean, and safe. That automatically rules out any city park, the back seat of a taxi, and Christina Aguilera’s bedroom.

You can have a midnight picnic on a roof top, the floor of an apartment, or the bed of a pickup truck. Romance is not the ‘place’. Romance is the ‘place you make it’.

The idea of a midnight picnic is self-explanatory. Late night, and one, or both of you can’t sleep. You hit the ‘Always open’, ‘24/7’, ‘robbed twice a week’ quick mart for everything. You can usually find almost anything you need here, but it’s normally cheesy and overpriced. A lot like living in Vegas. The bottom line is you don’t want to be cooking anything.

You have to keep this simple, or you’ll be too busy to enjoy it. If that happens consider yourself caught in ‘female karma’. This is where you get payback for all those Thanksgivings, that you pigged out and watched football while the women cooked, cleaned, and watched screaming kids.

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