The Moral Injury Workbook by Wyatt R. Evans

Author:Wyatt R. Evans
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: moral injury;post-traumatic stress syndrome;ptsd;acceptance and commitment therapy;act;healing from moral injury;shame;self-forgiveness;moral pain
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
Published: 2020-04-18T00:36:59+00:00

Moral Rules

Earlier in this book, we talked about morality of the mind, which includes all the thoughts we have about right and wrong, good and bad, just and unjust. These beliefs or expectations are learned from our communities—our families, friends, schools, faith communities, and so on. These beliefs are often summarized and organized into a string of words we call a “rule.” Rules are defined as specific codes that govern the ways we should behave. Rules are shortcuts that guide behavior. Rules are designed to ensure that specific underlying values are not violated. However, they don’t ensure that values are lived.

Governments have rules in the form of laws. Religious institutions have rules such as commandments or mitzvot. The military and law enforcement agencies have rules of engagement. Many of these are moral rules, which help to ensure that the desires or priorities of one individual or a small group do not negatively impact the larger community. In this way, rules can be extremely helpful and important.

Distinguishing Between Moral Rules and Moral Values

When we fuse with rules, though, our behavior can become rigid and inflexible, and our lives unworkable. Moreover, in the face of broken rules, we can get fused with a sense of broken-ness and begin grappling with questions of right and wrong, forgivability, and punishment. When we’re fused with the rule, we may see no way out of a difficult predicament. And in the case of a past moral violation, we may see no way forward, instead experiencing ourselves as permanently disconnected (“broken”) from the values from which the rules were born.

It is important, then, to distinguish rules from values. We briefly introduced values in previous chapters, and we’ll explore values more in the next chapter. For now, we’ll illustrate with an example. Let’s explore the rule “Do not lie.”

Rules set a boundary to keep us from violating our values. At its core, the rule “do not lie” keeps us from violating the broader values of honesty and integrity. Yet most of us simultaneously hold multiple values to guide our actions. Because rules are shortcuts, they can be problematic if we act on them inflexibly.

Imagine you’ve been invited to dinner at your friends’ house. They cooked the meal. After the first several bites, you realize that it doesn’t taste very pleasant. Nothing wrong with it; just rather bland. Your friend turns to you with a hopeful look and asks how you like the food. You respond with a smile: “It’s wonderful; thank you for all your efforts preparing such a beautiful meal for us!” You’ve broken the rule “Do not lie” by implying to your friends that the dinner they prepared was delicious when, to you, it wasn’t.

But why did you do this? Almost certainly because there were multiple values in play that influenced your relationship with your friends. Perhaps there was a value of honesty and integrity. However, there were additional values of kindness, caring, and support toward friends. In some circumstances it’s not possible to fully express both sets of values in a single action.

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