The Love We Had by C Monet

Author:C Monet [Monet, C]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 1541554191
Publisher: B. Love Publications
Published: 2019-03-17T04:00:00+00:00

6

Graysen

You've been gone, but you plague my mind- Alina Baraz

“Give me one minute, it’s my wife,” Naomi calling again caught me by surprise, but I still managed to smile. It had been months since we actually utilized each other’s numbers. The saltiness of what was going on made it hard for both of us to put our pride to the side.

“Graysen, I owe you an apology for that night, “she said before I could even say hello. I took a minute to think of what night she was talking about. There had been plenty of nights she left me in my feelings. I stopped bringing them up because I didn’t want to be a fool anymore. The more I tried talking to her the more disrespectful she became. I sucked it up, men couldn’t operate in that. It made them do shit they wouldn’t do under normal circumstances. I would never cheat on her, but I just became emotionally unavailable. I came and did what was required; nothing more nothing less.

“Last night?” I asked. I remembered her calling me a little late last night about someone being in the house. After checking the feed I didn’t think anything of it. She was still my wife and my responsibility. If something was wrong she could still depend on me. Now we were at a point that she thought she had to apologize for calling. Stepping into an empty office, I rubbed my bald head because this wasn’t how I wanted things between us.

“No, last night it was the wine. I think I left the radio on and was hearing stuff. I. I, uhm, I’m talking about that night we got into it about the baby,” she replied. I sat up wondering what brought this on. For years I tried to revisit the conversation in a subtle way, but she had a way of shutting me down and making me keep my feelings to myself.

“What’s going on Mi? You sure you ok? Do you need me to come home?” I fired off. I would be on the next flight if she needed me. All I wanted was her to need me again. To feel like I could fix and handle anything for her. I always had. When we were kids and her parents would fight she would come next door and we would sit on the porch swing until I had her laughing at my corny math jokes. It was one late night and I promised I would do it forever. That promise still stood.

“No, I don’t want you to come home. But I need you to listen for just a second, do you have a second?”

“Take the time you need,” I urged as I put her on speaker and loosened my tie. As I heard her shuffle and sniffle I send out a text letting my partners know that I needed to push the meeting back. Nothing would come before this moment. Naomi needed me and like the air I inhaled, I needed her to need me.

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