The Long Delirious Burning Blue by Sharon Blackie

Author:Sharon Blackie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: September Publishing
Published: 2024-04-08T00:00:00+00:00

9

Cat

Okay, Cat. I’m getting out now. Time to solo.’

Solo? I don’t move; I don’t say a word. I just stare blankly out of the windscreen, replaying the words over in my head. Solo? It never entered my mind. Not even when he cut the lesson short after half a dozen stalls and three seamless touch-and-goes and asked me to head back to the terminal.

It should have entered my mind. After thirty hours of flying time, the moment was bound to come soon. Most of the kids solo around fifteen hours – I’m already way behind. The truth is that I’ve been trying not to think about it. In the early days the thought of flying solo loomed ahead of me like a monster, a three-headed guardian at the threshold of paradise who’d laugh in my face and forbid me to pass. More recently I’ve quite simply blocked it out, my only focus on getting through the lesson just ahead of me and trying to get the plane down on the ground in one piece.

So many lessons; so many struggles. Lying in bed at night, dreaming about the shape of the runway at different altitudes. Hour after hour of touch-and-goes; practising landings, over and over again. Days when I’ve thought I would never get the hang of it; days when I’ve wanted to weep with frustration. A perfect set-up and the airplane within fifty feet of the runway – and then I’d blank out. ‘Flare,’ he’d bark, as it looked as if I’d forget to pull up on the yoke altogether and just crash head-long into the asphalt. ‘How about you fly it down to the runway rather than driving it, next time?’ Or I’d pull up too soon and float down the runway for a while before the airspeed bled away and we’d drop down with a bang as the usually sanguine Jesse flinched in the seat beside me.

Jesse. Never giving up on me, never letting me give up on myself. ‘Come on, Cat – you can do this. You’ve done worse, remember?’ Through landings and stalls and simulated engine failures … so many hurdles to overcome.

And now, the biggest hurdle of all.

Solo.

I turn and watch helplessly as Jesse unbuckles his seat belt and harness. ‘Three touch-and-goes and then that’s it – come right back in. Stay in the traffic pattern; next time we’ll see about you going further afield.’

I don’t seem to be able to make my mouth work but he’s opening the door now and all I can do is gape at him. He ignores me completely; gives me no chance to demur. As he slips out of the plane he turns around and smiles that small, quirky smile, winks slowly and without another word closes the door behind him and leaves me there alone.

Alone. I’ve never been alone in a plane before. The silence is oppressive, more than a little spooky. The usually cramped space stretches out to infinity. He’s gone, and this morning there’s only me for the sky.

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