The Grateful Life by Nina Lesowitz

Author:Nina Lesowitz [Lesowitz, Nina; Sammons, Mary Beth]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781632280008
Publisher: Viva Editions

JUDY FOX: ON CARING FOR HER MOM, SELMA FOX

Judy’s mom, 97, was living independently, cooking, and driving; she was playing bridge until she was 93. Judy would go to Florida to visit her twice a year, and her mom would visit her in Lenox, Massachusetts. But gradually it became obvious that the independence was slipping away.

“More and more I was in contact with her, calling her on the phone daily, and then, on one visit about five years ago, she was very weak and became hospitalized with a restricted aortic valve. Everything radically changed, and we had to hire a professional aide to be with her. We were lucky because Pat (the caregiver) had taken care of my aunt, who had Parkinson’s, for 11 years, so she was like a family member.”

After that, Judy started to be with her mom more and more—at first about 50 percent of the time, and then it gradually increased. “I was thrust into ongoing doctors’ appointments and different treatment possibilities, which meant I had to investigate for myself the various options. We ended up going down to Cali, Columbia, where my mom had an aortic valve replacement via a catheter, which at that time was not FDA-approved in the USA. It was incredibly courageous of my mom to make the trip, as it was not a given she would survive, but she said to me, ‘What choice do I have?’ And it was a success.”

Then, 15 months ago, Judy’s mom had a stroke and was paralyzed on her left side. At that point, there was no other option than for Judy to move down to Florida with her. She says, “It really is a labor of love. I am the only close family member, as my brother and father died many years ago and my mother was the youngest in the family and the only one left now. It has never been a chore to be with my mom—definitely not always easy, but I had absolutely no ambivalence when I decided to be with her—it was almost a choice-less decision and continues to be choice-less. It’s the heart’s response to love.”

Today, Judy says she feels her whole life was leading up to the moment when she would walk with her mom through this journey. “I can experience this gratitude on a daily basis. I am at that point where I am no longer seeing life through the narcissistic lens of what life has to give to me. It’s in part a result of getting older and maturing, having had a lot of life and death experience and a long history of spiritual practice in many forms, including meditation.”

The experience reinforces her belief that going through difficult times is a catalyst for gratitude.

“I have also always been a very reflective and sensitive person, with a desire to touch upon the essentials in life, to evolve and transform,” she says. “I also think when one has gone through difficulties in life—the loss of loved ones, sickness

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