The Girls I've Been by Tess Sharpe

Author:Tess Sharpe [Sharpe, Tess]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Young Readers Group
Published: 2021-01-26T00:00:00+00:00

— 39 —

Katie (Age 10): Sweet, Spirited, Smart (In Three Acts, Reversed)

Act 1: Smart

Before (After)

At first, I think Joseph’s smiley in the way Elijah was—that kind of fake cheeriness that’s all performance and pomp. After all, he owns a slew of car dealerships. He’s a salesman, and a slick one at that. It would make sense.

Every time he looks at me, I try to pick it out in his face, in his eyes. What makes him smile. What makes him frown. How I can mold myself to make him do the first thing, and not the second.

What do you want? I can’t pin it down.

(Later, I’ll tell myself I was stupid. Even later, after a lot of therapy, I’ll know I wasn’t.)

Mom’s too confident after how well conning Elijah went. She’s sailing on the high of two successful jobs in a row, but I don’t know then I can’t trust her when it comes to picking the marks.

(I will question it forever: Did she know? How could she? How could she not?)

Joseph’s on the hook too fast for someone who manipulates for a living; he moves us into his house after just two months of dating, and Mom’s smug about it and I’m so glad I’m not getting terrorized by Jamison anymore that I’ve left Haley and my curled-up fists behind.

I don’t realize my fists should’ve stayed curled until it’s too late.

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