The Foster Care Survival Guide: The Essential Guide for Today's Foster Parents by Dr. John DeGarmo

Author:Dr. John DeGarmo
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Atlantic Publishing Group, Inc.
Published: 2018-02-18T00:00:00+00:00

Discipline Disagreements

You and your spouse or partner might have a difference of opinion on how to discipline the child in your home. When these disagreements occur, it can cause a serious strain on a marriage.

I was at a foster parent conference awhile back, delivering a keynote address on the importance of foster parenting. After the speech was over, I was approached by a young couple, probably in their mid-20s. As they approached me, I could see the look of discouragement on both their faces. Coming to the table I was at, their heads were bent down and hushed whispers escaped from both their lips. After a few words of greetings, they told me their story. The couple was in the third year of their marriage, and they were unable to have children of their own biologically. They were in the midst of their first placement of a foster child in their home: a nine-year-old boy who had come from severe physical abuse. The young boy had been very defiant towards the couple, refusing to follow their instructions. On top of that, he had shown aggressive behavior towards the pet dog in the house. Not wishing to give up on the foster child and have him removed, the couple wanted to continue to try and work with him. What they struggled with was the way they should discipline him for his behavior. The husband wanted to withhold many of his privileges and “ground him,” so to speak. The wife, on the other hand, wanted to be more lenient in her discipline. As you might have guessed, this was causing some angst in their young marriage and bringing additional stress to the household. This couple is not alone, I assure you, with issues such as this, as many marriages are under stress when trying to come to an understanding of how to best discipline a child, whether it is a foster child or a biological child.

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