The First Christmas by Stephen Mitchell

Author:Stephen Mitchell [Mitchell, Stephen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

5.

Yosef sat up in bed. What did it mean? Was the dream from God? In scripture, angels never appear with a message in a dream. It is God who brings messages in dreams; angels always deliver their messages in waking time. But certainly the dream was no ordinary dream. He closed his eyes and tried to re-enter it, but the image of the angel had already faded; he could no longer remember it. He felt a pang of longing, as though he had been stabbed through the heart by sweetness.

He couldn’t remember the angel’s face, but he remembered his words: “Do not be afraid to take Maryam as your wife.” So: that, at least, was settled. He had to complete the second step of the marriage, the nisuín, and by taking Maryam to live with him, declare that she was his wife. There would be no divorce. He didn’t have a choice. God had commanded this.

His heart rebelled for a moment. Was he to be another Hosea? No, Maryam couldn’t be a whore, not if her pregnancy had been commanded by the Lord. She had to be innocent. But innocent in what way? The dream angel had said that the child had been begotten in her through the Holy Spirit. Through didn’t necessarily mean agency; it could also mean permission, as in “with the blessing of the Holy Spirit, God’s manifestation on earth.” That must mean that God had wanted her to commit adultery. It was God’s will that she conceive the child out of wedlock. This was painful to contemplate. But it was clear that for some reason, known only to the Almighty in His infinite wisdom, her adultery had been necessary. Yosef would not presume to argue with God. He would have to accept this. Whether the child had a human or an angel as his father, it was blessed, even though it was a bastard, because it had been begotten at the directive—or with the acquiescence—of the Holy Spirit. In either case, the law about bastards too must not apply. So in keeping silent about the child’s origin, Yosef would not be sinning against any of his neighbors. And if he took Maryam home with him right away, everyone would believe that the child was his. When the boy grew up, Yosef would, in good conscience, be able to arrange a marriage for him.

His thoughts returned to Maryam and the father of her child. He was mortified that God had made him a cuckold, whether it had been by means of a man or an angel. It was ridiculous. It was demeaning. But he realized that his shame was simply the outer crust of the pride that for so many years he had been praying to grow beyond. This must be another test. He would have to surrender his will to God. He would have to see that this was the best thing that could have happened to him and to Maryam. If he was sincere in his devotion, his wounded masculine pride would be a trivial sacrifice.

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