The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person: A Workbook to Harness Your Strengths in Every Part of Life by Amanda Cassil Phd

Author:Amanda Cassil Phd [Cassil, Amanda Phd]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781646114566
Amazon: 1646114566
Goodreads: 52303658
Publisher: Rockridge Press
Published: 2020-03-10T05:00:00+00:00

It can be easy as an HSP to be overly attuned to the ways you take up space in relationships and to minimize your contributions. Taking time to identify what you bring to a friendship can be helpful for your self-esteem and confidence.

COMMON CHALLENGES

In new friendships, it can be important to pace how much you give. People are drawn to HSPs because talking to you likely makes them feel good. This can be lovely, intoxicating, and validating—a new friend! Then, this person starts ghosting. The HSP combs their memory to find what went wrong. This is a common experience for HSPs and supports the misguided narrative that there is something “wrong” with the HSP. Being friends with an HSP can be challenging for a non-HSP because there is an expectation for genuine connection. HSPs may ask to work through conflict rather than ignoring it, ask for help when they feel overwhelmed, and live out their values. HSPs will express concern if a friend seems to be abandoning their values just to fit in. Non-HSPs can find this difficult and exhausting, and it is not uncommon for them to decide “this is too much, I’m out.” Ouch.

Then come the negative thoughts: “if I could just let things go” or “if I could just be less sensitive.” It is so painful. Please remember, if someone wants to be your friend, they will be open to you having needs. Whether it is friendship, family, or romantic connection, it is not your fault if the other person does not want to put in the work necessary to have a healthy relationship. You can grieve this loss without taking on shame. Shame is functional when it moves you toward treating others better and repairing a rupture in a relationship. But for this to happen, the other person needs to be openly sharing their feelings and invested in repairing the relationship.

Taking Inventory of Your Expectations

Negative emotions in relationships can often result from missed expectations. Identifying the expectations and how they were missed is the first step to addressing the concern and moving forward in the relationship.

Reflect on the relationships where you might feel some resentment, disappointment, or upset. Can you identify the expectation that is being missed?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is the expectation unreasonable for this person’s skill set?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

»If yes, how can you shift what you expect from the relationship? How do your boundaries need to shift to protect yourself?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

»If no, is there a way you can discuss your concerns with them and work through the conflict? Remember that you cannot expect others to read your mind, no matter how obvious it may seem.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.