The Countess and the Commoner by Matilda Madison

Author:Matilda Madison
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: romance, love story, historical, victorian, series, bad boy, big book
Publisher: Evernight

Chapter Nine

Left alone in the orangery, Sarah brought her hands up to cover her face and let herself cry wholly for an unknown length of time. It was unfair that she should have such a man in her life, especially after already having a husband who had loved her dearly. The guilt she felt at falling in love again was all-consuming.

If only she could continue their affair without bringing scandal to her household, she would. Any way to be with Simon seemed worth it, but in their months apart, the heady mist of love had lifted, and she was left with her responsibilities, not only as a countess and a mother but as the head of her household. Daniel would be going off to Eton in a few years and he didn’t need the embarrassment of having a mother who couldn’t control herself. Her sister Beatrice was having a difficult time finding a husband and Sarah didn’t wish to hurt her chances of making a successful match. There was also Meredith. Should she ever want to return to society, it would be easier for her to be the sister of a proper lady instead of a notorious one.

Sarah groaned into her hands as the tears finally subsided. There were too many reasons not to continue their affair. Surely, Simon had to understand that. Except…

Even if there was one thing that negates all of them?

Sarah squeezed her eyes shut, fighting off another swell of emotional turmoil. It didn’t matter if Simon loved her. It didn’t matter if she loved him. She had a duty to her family and friends. Her life as Paula Pry was far different from her life as the Countess de Marchand. As Paula, she was a spy, a courtesan, a mistress. She was a woman without scruples, without responsibilities. But as a countess, she was supposed to be a pillar in her community. Particularly as a widow. And what of her promise to Robert? To never love again. It had been an easy promise to make, for what were the chances that she would ever love someone like she loved Robert? But even now as she cursed herself for making such a bold proclamation, she wouldn’t break that promise.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks, Sarah tried to steady her breathing. Pressing the back of her fingers to her face to cool her warm skin, she placed her bonnet back on her head and tied the ribbon tightly beneath her chin. She hoped it would be enough to shield her face from inquiring guests.

Walking across the snowdrop-covered lawn that stretched out between the orangery and the main house, Sarah was sure that given enough time, Simon would forget about his feelings for her. Once he and Delilah were married and had a son or daughter, surely, he would be able to see their connection as nothing more than an emotional friendship. Perhaps when he had a child of his own, he would understand the responsibility a parent had to their offspring.

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