The Cats Got My Tongue by Doctor Harmony

Author:Doctor Harmony [Harmony, Doctor]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

What Can Help Sal to be More Confident?

Can you find some answers in the grid below? Look across, diagonally and downwards.

Can you help Sal to be brave and talk to her new neighbour, Alice?

If you ever need extra help, you may like to talk to a counsellor, your local doctor, psychologist or your school counsellor.

PARENTS PAGE

If your child is shy, the good news is that in most cases it will improve in time. This is because children have opportunities to practise social skills over time. This in turn helps to build self-confidence.

What can I do to help my shy child?

Try to encourage your child to face situations that are scary for him/her. This could mean breaking it down into steps. Start with easier situations. For example, if your child does not like talking in front of the class (which is a very common fear), your child may try standing up and talking in front of your immediate family first, then standing and talking in an empty classroom. This could then graduate to talking in front of a small group of close friends in the classroom, then imagining speaking in front of the whole class. Thereafter, your child could speak to the whole class standing with friends, then speaking in front of the class alone. This is just an example. You will need to individualise it to your child’s situation.

It is important to remind your child that it is normal to feel a bit nervous in new situations or with new people. You may want to explain situations when you felt nervous but you still did your best to face it and it turned out better than you initially thought.

Sometimes Matt the Cat catastrophises situations and makes us worry that we will fail. This makes us avoid the situation, give up before even trying or procrastinate.

It may also be helpful to use other shy kids as examples and to discuss the positive attributes these children have which they may not see themselves. Then discuss with your child what strengths they have. Encourage your child to remember his/her strengths when in situations where he/she feels inadequate.

Praise your child for any situations in which he/she demonstrated self-confidence and encourage your child to be as independent as possible. Praise your child regularly to help build confidence.

It may be helpful to ask your child:

What is scary about the situation? What is Matt telling you?

Is it possible that Matt may be telling you things that aren’t fully true, like you will make a mess of the situation?

Is there anything you can repeat to yourself when you are being brave and facing the scary situation?

What do you like about yourself? What are you good at? What makes you special and unique? Can you remember this when you face the situation you are scared about?

What might other kids be scared of? Is it possible that some kids have similar fears to you?

How would you behave if another kid is shy or scared too?

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