The Bipolar Disorder Workbook: Powerful Tools and Practical Resources for Bipolar II and Cyclothymia by Gregory LCSW Gina & Forster MD Peter

Author:Gregory LCSW, Gina & Forster MD, Peter [Gregory LCSW, Gina]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Althea Press
Published: 2018-09-24T16:00:00+00:00

EXERCISE: DISTRESSING SITUATION REVIEW, PART 2—ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVES

Later, when you’re no longer quite so upset about what happened, fill in this part.

What other possible meanings might you have taken from what the other person said?

1.

2.

3.

4.

How could the conversation have turned out differently if you hadn’t interpreted the situation the way you did?

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Let’s return to John to see how this kind of analysis is used in a real-life situation.

John had taken time off from work so he could visit his father on the other side of the country. John often feels that he doesn’t matter to his father. As the two of them were waiting at baggage claim, his dad said, “Your brother is coming over for dinner. I think it’s really great that he’s willing to take time out from his busy schedule.”

John’s take on the situation was that his father was, once again, showing that what John does is unimportant. This is the gut-level reaction that he wrote on the form: “Great, I’m flying across the country to visit, and my dad just wants to talk about how wonderful my brother is for driving across town to join us for dinner. What’s the point in trying?”

John answered his dad with a slightly sarcastic tone, “Yeah, that’s just great.” And then he sank into silence, fuming about his father’s lack of appreciation. The rest of the trip was tense. By the end of his visit, John felt confirmed in his view that nothing he does matters.

Later, when John filled in the second part of the Distressing Situation Review, he found it hard to think of any other ways he might have perceived his father’s comment.

This is typical when you first start doing this exercise. In the heat of your first reaction, it can be very hard to see alternatives to your interpretation.

However, John asked his wife to help him, and she said that if her father had made that comment when she was visiting, her reaction would have been quite different. She would have thought, “Wow, that’s really nice that I’m going to be able to see my sister as well. Dad must want to have a special family dinner, since I’m visiting.”

While John didn’t think this was really what was going on in his situation, he was able to see how his view of the conversation affected the outcome of the visit with his father.

The next day, during a phone call, his dad once again commented how nice it was that his brother was able to join them for dinner during the visit. Having completed the exercise the day before, John was able to hold on to the awareness of alternative possible meanings. Instead of feeling sure that this was another example of his dad’s thoughtlessness, he considered the possibility that what his father was really saying was that he enjoys it when the family can get together. This conversation ended better than his visit back home, and rather than feeling angry and resentful, John found himself remembering past family events that he enjoyed.

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