Sizing People Up by Robin Dreeke & Cameron Stauth

Author:Robin Dreeke & Cameron Stauth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2020-01-20T16:00:00+00:00

TEN POSITIVE TELLS FOR RELIABILITY (COMPETENCE PLUS DILIGENCE)

1. Reliable people carry themselves with genuine confidence. It’s fairly easy to fake confidence, so behavioral analysts have learned how to identify true, unforced confidence. People who have it don’t brag, don’t make excuses, take their jobs more seriously than themselves, and get things done.

They’re calm, polite, succinct, receptive, rational, and reliable. All of that shows in their nonverbals, the language they use, the relationships they have, their patterns of behavior, and their focus on long-term goals.

One study of top-tier managers showed that a display of genuine confidence was a key element in their success. And it was present in them before their success. The study also confirmed the phenomenon called “erotic capital”—the confidence enjoyed by people who are notably attractive and have translated that into worldly success.

My takeaway: Forget about fake-it-till-you-make-it. Instead, try feel-it-till-you-make-it, focusing on the positive qualities you already have.

I call this self-selected, legitimate feeling “quantifiable confidence,” and I’ve found that most people have enough positive attributes to sincerely project confidence—if they try.

2. Reliable people speak with specifics. They bring communication instead of confusion to a conversation. They’re clear, concise, memorable, and motivational—in accord with Brockman’s dictum—and their words create charisma. The things they say in important professional conversations, and in presentations, stand out in a society of big talkers who try to prove their worth with circular talk, cutesy jargon, excessive modifiers, and political correctness so thick it’s mind-numbing.

The people you trust and admire the most don’t talk like that.

Most of us know instinctually not to trust big talkers, because we don’t know where they stand, or even understand what they’ve said. That makes them unpredictable, and therefore untrustworthy—and vice versa.

3. Reliable people are transparent about their weaknesses and mistakes. They don’t repackage their failures as successes. They don’t pretend that their weak points have become their strengths. They’re not defensive.

Most of us love working with people like this, because their strengths and weaknesses are obvious, which is pure gold for predictability.

Reliable people don’t leave you with that hollow feeling you get when an insecure person talks. Most of the time, you can tell that insecure people don’t even know that they’re being defensive. They think they’re just putting their best foot forward.

The rest of us think they’re hiding something, and we often underestimate how egregious it actually is.

4. Reliable people welcome tough jobs and hard deadlines. Heavy lifting gives reliable people the welcome opportunity to show others what they can do. These people are self-aware enough to know they’re reliable, and they like to demonstrate it.

They’re also realistic enough to know that they need to keep proving themselves.

Reliable people tend to get lost in the flow state that accompanies focus, selflessness, and intensity, and they’re aware of the fact that hard work can be a form of meditation.

Also, when reliable people are held accountable, it generally just reveals how well they’ve done—so why shouldn’t they like it?

5. Reliable people hit the ground running and then speed up. People

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