Shalia's Diary #4 by Tracy St. John

Author:Tracy St. John [John, Tracy St.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-10-04T04:00:00+00:00

February 15 or 16

I woke back in my little habitat, curled alone in the shallow cave at the back of the room. I wore my clean shift once more. I sat up, blinking and trying to pull my thoughts together. I remembered Oses chained down and Finiuld threatening to let a bunch of Tragooms eat him alive. Terror coursed through me, and I looked for the Nobek.

Oses sat next to our pond, his back to me. He had not put his vest back on, but he wore his kilt. I noted how he hunched, not sitting straight and proud as the man I know normally would have. I didn’t have to see his face to know Oses was in a bad way, psychologically speaking.

I crawled out of the cave and stood. I had a suspicious look around, making sure the Little Creep was nowhere to be seen. That didn’t mean he wasn’t there, of course, but at least his ugly mug was nowhere in evidence. The other prisoners lay or sat around (or in the case of the Isetacian, hung from vines). They always cowered in corners when they knew Finiuld was present. It was as good an indication as I was going to get that we might not be graced with the Little Creep’s attendance.

I went over to Oses and sat down beside him. “Are you hurt?” I asked. The question ‘Are you okay’ would have been the height of stupidity. Neither of us was okay.

“You should have let me die an honorable death,” he said. His voice was cold and he wouldn’t look at me. It brought tears to my eyes, and I blinked hard to keep them from falling.

“What would be honorable about being eaten alive?” I asked. “How can you expect me to watch while such a thing happened?”

“I watched you thrash around screaming and crying while that gurluck tormented you through your collar,” Oses said. Now emotion was trickling in; a brutal anger that made his fangs descend. “You made me promise to let it happen, and I did. I didn’t lift a finger to protect you. I didn’t even threaten him while he hurt you. You promised you would do the same.”

“So I should have let him set the starving Tragooms on you? I should have sat there listening to you scream and watching you get torn apart? I should have done that, knowing my sanity would break, leaving me as worthless as the Isetacian or the Plasian over there? Then where would I be? What about my—”

I stopped just in time to keep from saying the word ‘baby’. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves.

Oses shook his head. “I can’t take care of you. I can’t protect you or anyone else, not from that monster. What is my life worth if I can’t do that? I might as well be dead, especially since Finiuld is now using me to harm you.”

His fangs disappeared. Now Oses had an expression I’d never thought possible on his face: utter despondency.

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