Say One Kind Thing by Susan Verde

Say One Kind Thing by Susan Verde

Author:Susan Verde
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams
Published: 2023-03-14T00:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER 7

ALREADY A HERO

The other night when Jacob had his crew of friends over, he sent me a text from his room (which is shouting distance from mine):

“Food, please!”

These days, this is what passes for communication, even when we are in the same house. Entering Jacob’s room is only done via invitation, as if I am a vampire. I am always excited to be summoned, even if I act otherwise. As my kids have grown, my duties as a mom have shifted. It’s no longer MOMMMMEEEEE every thirty seconds. Today I am most useful to them as driver, chef, one-woman clean-up crew, and appointment scheduler. Otherwise, it’s best to remain out of sight. When I act outside of those functions, I’m likely to be referred to as “bruh” and told to “chill.”

This shift in my role as mom to teenagers was abrupt, and I am still trying to figure out how to respect their boundaries and not let the fact that I miss my babies get in the way of appreciating them now. I have become a loving spectator, observing from a safe distance as my kids move through the world, waiting for my cue to join in, and trying not to lose it when the dishes and dirty clothes pile up behind the mostly closed doors of their rooms and then spill out into our shared living spaces.

That night as I brought food into Jacob’s room, out of nowhere, he blurted out to his friends that I once fought off a mugger with three feet of a six-foot hero. I was totally shocked—not only that he remembered the story, but that he thought it was worthy of sharing, and in a non-sarcastic way. This is interacting with teenagers. The moments in which they talk to me about what is happening in their lives or include me in the conversation are rare and spontaneous. They always seem to catch me off guard. It will be a random moment of passing in the kitchen or a long car ride or a late night where we just happen to be in the same room at the same time. It’s on their terms. And when it happens, I hold very still, afraid that any movement will scare them off. As they talk, I tell myself not to say too much or interject or interrupt unless specifically asked and just let their side of things flow like a stream of consciousness until it’s over, all while making sure I show just the right amount of interest and respond in just the right way if a response is required. It can be the most thrilling and exhausting few minutes of my life.

My kids’ friends are incredibly cool. They are stylish and unique and interesting. Some are athletes and skateboarders and artists. Some are tattooed. They are nonbinary and trans and pan and straight and everything in between. They all have empathy and compassion and deep thoughts and are also hot messes in their own teenage ways.



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