Ruthless Letters: A Grey Bully Romance (Captive Writings Book 1) by M.L. Philpitt

Author:M.L. Philpitt [Philpitt, M.L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781777473167
Published: 2022-02-05T18:30:00+00:00

ELENA

I don’t sleep.

Not because the bed isn’t comfortable. Not because my head can’t stop going a hundred kilometers an hour. Not because my erratic and unknown future hovers like a shadow over me.

I don’t sleep because I’m no longer tired. After Ryker left, sleep should have taken me, but instead, I tossed and turned. It’s challenging to sleep in Hell, knowing the devil is right downstairs.

A loud thump has me shooting up in bed. Steps carry him across the floor and the bed bounces as his large form lands beside me. Once he settles, the distinct sour scent of alcohol becomes evident. He’s drunk.

Compelled to witness the mess he’s bound to be, I roll over, keeping to my side of the bed, eyes shutting to pretend like I’m sleeping.

“I know you’re awake, Elena. I saw the glow of your eyes. And your breathing is rapid. It’s okay.”

Through the dark, his bright green eyes shine underneath the strength of alcohol. Strangely enough, he appears younger—like the version of him I once loved.

“Yeah, I’m awake,” I murmur.

I feel like he can see all of me, like I’m stripped naked by him in the dark. Rather than fear, he eases me. Warms me. Makes me want this to never end.

“Can I tell you something?”

Surprised, I blink and bite down on the eagerness. “Yeah.”

“I wish I didn’t have to hate you. I wish things could have been different. Especially after all this time.”

“Why can’t it be?” I prod. “Why do you do these things to me?”

The tiny bit of sober he still is keeps him silent and a wall builds around him. “I can’t tell you.”

I huff, letting frustration capture my attitude. “Can’t or won’t?”

Ryker says nothing for four beats of my heart, until, “Won’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because—” Before I can track what is happening, something warm captures my hand, wrapping around it. His fingers weave in between mine. I still, my arm going limp on the bed. “Because,” he starts, “then I’ll care again, and I can’t have that. Once was enough.”

Is he saying…? No. He can’t be saying he once cared at all for me?

Not a positive kind of caring anyway. Maybe care as in how a lion is concerned about what flavour of meat they want to eat.

“Ryker,” I whisper, not knowing what else to say.

His head shakes into the pillow. “Don’t speak. Please let me enjoy this moment.” His eyes drift close and after a long minute, he talks again. His muffled words are so low, I almost don’t catch them over my rapid heartbeat. “We can’t be this way again, so let me have it this once.”

So, I do. I allow him to have his secrets. I squeeze his hand once, not believing for a second who I’m curled up with. The same man who made high school hell. Who changed my entire present life in a short span of time. I should hate his entire being, but it’s easy to discover his humanity beneath the rough exterior. He spends so much time being the person he wants people to see him as, but this is the guy I cared for.

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