Rising by Darnella Ford

Author:Darnella Ford
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group
Published: 2012-05-21T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

And for more than a decade there has been nothing else. In my sleep I remember. In my waking hours I can’t forget. In my leisure I am tormented. In the middle of laughter I break into sobs without warning. My good moods turn sour without justification and in the midst of my tears, I dim to stoicism because I can’t deal with the inconvenience of my past. Huston penetrated more than my vaginal walls. He punctured my soul.

“Are you okay?” asked Teek as he leaned into me. After the meeting, we had returned to the inn to rest a few hours before dinner.

“I need to lay down,” I said, half out of my mind, half in it. I hadn’t told Teek about Huston’s hostile takeover of my gallery. I wasn’t prepared to talk about it yet, not that I ever would be, but eventually I would—talk about it, that is.

“Baby, are you okay?” he repeated.

“Fine,” I said, facing off with the lie. No, I wasn’t okay but I couldn’t tell him that. I had been brought to the Huston palace, treated like a queen in public, raped like an animal in private, paid off like a whore between the lines, and left for dead as an adult.

No. I wasn’t okay.

I could’ve done a line of coke. Made love to Teek on top of the table. Beat the shit out of Audrey just because. Purchased a high-powered weapon. Blown Huston’s head off the first chance I got. Hung his decapitated face in my gallery as restored junk, got to bed by nine, and slept like a baby through the night.

Did I sound okay?

Teek reached around my waist and pulled me to him. I always got the chills when he did that because my waist was the most sensitive area on my body.

“I want to be with you,” I said to him, disengaging mind from body. And that was all I had to say. It would only take a moment for him to oblige. He laid me down on the bed and stood over me …

Undressing.

Revealing.

Disarming.

“You are so beautiful,” I said, admiring him.

He slowly undressed me.

Slowly.

It was almost sweet, the seduction. But Teek was not big on foreplay and before I had a chance to remember that my childhood was over he had already penetrated me.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

He’s inside again.

He’s touching and moving and groping and stealing things that don’t belong to him. He has taken things not due him. He has purchased goods that weren’t for sale and put a price on innocence.

“Oh,” he moaned. “So good, baby … it’s so good,” he said again.

Okay.

Okay.

It’s just my body, it’s not my soul. Just my body, not my soul. He can’t touch me. He can’t really get inside me.

“You smell so good,” he whispered in my ear.

“Come,” I said aloud.

“Oooohhh …” he bellowed.

“Come,” I said again.

Come and I will blow your head off. Come and die. Come and die.

“Symone,” he moaned.

“Come,” I said again with no emotion.

Abigail, where are you? I could feel my heart begging for her—the Messiah I created long ago.

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