Remember This When You're Sad by Maggy van Eijk

Author:Maggy van Eijk
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781911600749
Publisher: Blink Publishing
Published: 2018-03-10T16:00:00+00:00

WHAT TO DO AFTER

After that night it felt like someone had knocked all the insides out of my body. If you tapped my skull you could hear the echo reverberate to my toes: I was empty. The parts of my brain controlling everyday things like appetite and tiredness had tangled together into a knot. I didn’t know what was going on, what I was doing or what I was feeling.

I told the story of that night to myself over and over and even branched out to a few close friends. I hoped that by imposing a narrative on that blurred evening I could turn it into something that made sense, something I could manage, but every time I divulged a bit of information or made the story more real it became harder for me to believe. Did this really happen? Am I sure it’s not my fault? I was the one drinking. Did I do this?

I wish there had been some kind of guide, or a quiz, to help marshal the flurry of worries that consumed me. Did you black out? Yes. Go straight to question 3. Did it hurt? Yes. Go to your GP now. Was it unprotected? Yes. Go to the sexual health clinic.

It took me a while and a lot of stumbling through a flurry of mixed-up thought processes to finally come to terms with the fact that I didn’t give consent. It was sexual assault. I was unconscious. I’ve spoken to men who have been with me when I’ve passed out and they told me it’s like rolling a blob of jelly down the street. I’m completely gone. I might mutter the odd word but it’s clear I’m incoherent and not really there. That man had sex with me against my will.

Everyone’s experience of sexual violence is different, so unfortunately there can’t be a blueprint for what to do after it’s happened, but here are some things I have learnt that might be helpful if you’ve been through this too:

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.