Really Stupid Stories for Really Smart Kids by Alan Katz

Really Stupid Stories for Really Smart Kids by Alan Katz

Author:Alan Katz [Katz, Alan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Running Press
Published: 2020-10-06T00:00:00+00:00


THE END

BUY-BUY FOR NOW

“Kids, it’s time for this year’s fundraising effort,” Mrs. Feinsilver told the class. “We are all going to work together to try to earn funds to pay for new playground equipment.”

“Are we selling wrapping paper again?” Michael Williams wanted to know. “Because last year, my grandma said that she bought so much wrapping paper, she couldn’t afford to buy any gifts to wrap!”

“No, not wrapping paper,” Mrs. Feinsilver said. “It’s…”

“I hope it’s not candy,” Jenna Douglas said. “The gooey chocolate always melts in my backpack when I’m delivering the orders, and people end up spending money for mush.”

“Nope, not candy either,” Mrs. Feinsilver told the girl. “This year, it’s…”

“It had better not be seeds,” Ralph Botner announced. “My mom said our garden is already full of plants that aren’t growing.”

“How can it be full of plants if they aren’t growing?” Jenna asked him.

“I dunno,” Ralph told her. “It’s just what my mom says.”

“My mom says we don’t need any more kitchen gadgets.” Jason Reiss said. “My big sister sold choppers and scoopers and peelers and stuff, and none of it really worked. There’s a whole drawer near our sink that’s full of that junk, and we can’t open it because the only thing we didn’t buy was the stuck drawer opener-er.”

“It’s not kitchen gadgets,” Mrs. Feinsilver reassured the boy. “Rather, we will be selling…”

“I know! It’s probably gift cards good for local merchants!” Reilly McNeil guessed. “My cousin’s school sold those, and we got a card redeemable for $25 worth of taffy. The school got $5, and I got… three cavities!”

“Not gift cards, Reilly,” Mrs. Feinsilver said. “I’m glad to hear that you’re all so enthusiastic and full of ideas, but we are actually going to sell…

“Magazines!” Eli Newsom offered. “Subscriptions to publications that nobody wants, nobody needs, and nobody reads, as my father calls them.”

“Well then, your father will be glad that we’re not offering magazines,” Mrs. Feinsilver said. “Now, I’ve been trying to tell you what we are selling… but you all keep guessing. So, I’ll let everyone have a chance to guess before I reveal what it is.”

Ideas flowed from all over the classroom.

“Buttons!”

“Mugs!”

“T-shirts!”

“Flowers!”

“Grand pianos!”

“Popcorn!”

“Live lobsters!”

“Lollipops!”

“Kitchen stools!”

“Toadstools!”

“Sore throats!”

“Zebras!”

“Okay, that’s enough guessing!” Mrs. Feinsilver said. “What we are selling this year is… kindness!”

“Kindness?” Lily Harper repeated. “How do you sell kindness?”

“Well,” Mrs. Feinsilver said, “we will all go around the neighborhood and do favors for people. Water their lawns. Walk their dogs. Things like that. And we will charge them each a small sum.”

“But Mrs. Feinsilver,” Eli Newsom said. “My dad says you’re supposed to give kindness away.”

“Right,” Reilly McNeil added. “We should do those things out of the goodness of our hearts.”



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