Present Perfect by Somov Pavel

Author:Somov, Pavel
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781608820450
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

There’s No Gun to Your Head

Each should masks a want. Let’s say you’re examining the following choice: to read or to clean. You think, “I know I should clean the house, but I don’t really want to do that. I’d rather read a book. But if I read the book and don’t clean the house, I know I’ll feel guilty later when I look at all this mess.” As you go back and forth between something you feel you should do and something that you want to do, you are actually choosing between two wants. Your choices are: pleasure plus guilt (if you read instead of cleaning) or no pleasure/no guilt plus possible approval from others for being dutiful (if you clean instead of reading). A choice is an expression of preference; whatever you end up choosing will be the more attractive of the available options (even if it’s only the lesser of two evils). As you weigh the pros and cons, the pressure you feel, this tyranny of shoulds, is self-imposed. You know that there is no gun to your head. No one’s making you do this. You are your own tyrant here. You’re afraid of your own mind, of your own guilt-trip, if you allow yourself a guilty pleasure. But let’s face it: whichever way you go, you win. However you slice this up, this choice is in the service of your well-being. These shoulds mask your desire for approval and to avoid feeling guilty. Whatever you’ll do, you’ll do it for you (even if somebody else happens to benefit from it). Not an easy truth to swallow, but an existentially essential one.

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